It's a new season

I have not blogged here in so very long, I hope I remember how. But I feel that God has given me a testimony to be shared. Some of you who know our family, know that our son Jonah struggles with some health issues. It is those health issues that have given our family and me a testimony to share.

Jonah was born early at 31 weeks and 2 days, weighing 3 lbs and 6 ounces. He spent close to a month in the NICU at Forysth and God was ever faithful to us through those very difficult days. Jonah had very bad reflux and was on special formula and medications to help. Raising a preemie was challenging and I struggled with post partum depression, which made it more difficult. At about 10 months old, as we were introducing new foods to Jonah, he broke out in a severe rash from head to toe that turned into a very bad staph infection of his skin. We figured out at that time he must have some serious food allergies. He had allergy testing done and tested as highly allergic to milk, eggs, and peanuts.  At that time, we were given an Epi-pen for him and told to avoid those foods at all costs as they could be life threatening. He was (and still is) an extremely picky eater and we were able to navigate pretty well with this food allergies and keeping him safe since my mom watched him while I was working.
When he turned 2, we decided to put him in daycare to allow him to socialize some since he's an only child. Several months into his daycare attendance, he had an anaphylactic reaction while at daycare during lunch. The daycare said they didn't really know what happened, but my gut tells me he probably was given regular milk to drink on accident. He was taken by ambulance to Brenners hospital and given Epi once in the ambulance and once again when he arrived at the hospital. His oxygen levels were dangerously low on the ride there and there are really no words to describe what I was feeling as I prayed desperately for God to take care of him and help him be ok. He ended up having to stay overnight in the pediatric ICU because he had what they call a "biphasic" reaction, which is when the reaction returns again after having calmed down after an administration of Epinephrine. All in all, he had three shots of epinephrine during that anaphylactic attack.
Thankfully, he recovered and was fine to go home the next day.

Since then, he has had two more anaphylactic events leading to ER visits and epinephrine injections. It has led us to be extremely careful and nervous about being around food that he is allergic to. This makes family events, birthday parties, etc very nerve wracking. A lot of times, we choose to stay home rather than have him be accidentally exposed to something that might cause a reaction.

Years ago when Jonah was diagnosed, we began praying for healing for him. Radical healing. The kind that the dr.'s would look at his test results and say "we've never seen this before". We have asked many of you to partner with us in praying for his healing. And we have faithfully prayed. Every. single. day. Prayed with unwavering faith that we know God will heal him. A year or so ago, God gave me the word "hope" and told me that I was to hold onto hope. That healing is coming. I had the word engraved on a key that I wore on a chain around my neck. It was my reminder to not lose hope, even during the waiting season. I cannot tell you how many times I worshipped privately and corporately with that word around my neck. It was a symbol of the warfare that I was engaged in for the healing of our son. I believe and still believe that God WILL HEAL him. Completely. And he will be able to eat anything he wants with no fear of a reaction. I believe with my whole heart that day is coming.
However, over the past year I have struggled with the grief and disappointment as he has continued to have reactions and the isolation that can come with this allergy. God and I have had some serious talks, honest talks. I have ridden the waves of every emotion that comes with disappointment and grief over chronic illness in your child. Over the past month or so, I had the process of a breakthrough. It started with sharing our family's testimony after someone asked me what my key necklace meant. It was as if speaking aloud the testimony to a complete stranger flicked a switch in my heart. Not long after that, the Lord spoke to me and said "Lori, you have been placing your hope in Jonah's healing, instead of me. I AM YOUR HOPE, not his healing. You are to walk in a new place now. A new season. A place of no more fear. No more anxiety about what might happen. "

Last week, I gave away my key to someone else in need of some hope. And I ordered a new key. A new key for a new season. A season where I will walk confidently even while we wait on Jonah's healing. And just like Shadrach, Meschach, and Abednego told King Nebuchadnezzar in Daniel 3... Even if he doesn't, it wouldn't make a bit of difference... Even if God doesn't heal Jonah, My confidence and my hope in the Lord will not be shaken. I'm learning that this world has nothing for us.
While I believe that healing IS coming for Jonah, health and healing is NOT the most important thing. The Lord will be my most important thing. He is my hope. And I am thankful to be walking in a new season, confident, even while we wait.