A Perfect Gift

I have not blogged in ages. Having an 8 month old son does not leave much time for blogging. Or reading. Or sleeping. Or cleaning. The list could go on. But tonight as I was putting Jonah to bed, I rocked him. And as I held my sweet sleeping son and prayed over him as I do every night, all I could think of was "thank you, God, for this gift." Jonah was exactly that. A gift. A gift that I prayed for. I prayed months and months that I would be blessed with a child. Corey and I dealt with infertility for awhile. We saw a fertility specialist for several months and tried some non-invasive treatments to no avail. We began to feel like having a child would never happen for us and decided to take some time off from treatment and take a break. I was discouraged and tearful most of the time. I resented when my friends would tell me they were expecting, but I continued to pray. Then one day when I was least expecting it, I found out I was pregnant. No words could begin to describe how I felt that day. I had a very complicated pregnancy with Jonah coming very early and when I first laid eyes on him, I knew he was my gift from God. The gift that I had prayed for. Just like in 1 Samuel 1:27 "I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him".
I share all of this simply because the love I have for my son is magnified because of how deeply I longed for him. The gratefulness I feel in my heart when I rock him to sleep at night is so much stronger because of how much I yearned to be a mother. The love you have for your child is something deeper than I was ever prepared to feel. It rips your hearts to shreds in one moment and then sends it soaring with a joy the next.
So as I rocked Jonah tonight I thought about how God felt about his son, Jesus. His one and only son. And with all of that love that He felt for his son, He still loved us so much that He sent his one and only son to earth for us. That kind of sacrifice blows my mind. I cannot imagine offering Jonah up for a sacrifice for people that would reject me, people that would find me insignificant, that would make fun of me. Yet that is exactly what God did. He offered us a perfect gift knowing that many would not accept His gift.
This Christmas is different for me this year. I have a better understanding of the sacrifice it took for God to give me and you the most perfect gift.
Merry Christmas to all and may you accept this perfect gift today