I honestly don't even know where to start tonight. I have so many thoughts bouncing around in this brain of mine that I really don't know where to begin. What I want to write about in this blog isn't an original thought of mine, although I wish I were that inspirational to come up with this on my own. However, these thoughts (or ramblings-if you will) stem from an amazing message I heard tonight at church. As I sat there, I felt convicted and inspired all at the same time. Probably a great combination!! Because when conviction and inspiration are combined for me, they equal the desire for a change.
Tonight, the pastor challenged us to "be the me God wants me to be". He challenged us to look in the mirror, at ourselves honestly, and see ourselves for what we really are. Then he talked about taking responsibility. Here is what he said.."You are in every relationship that you have. Every relationship has a common denominator.... YOU! You have input and influence in every relationship in your life simply because you're in it. As a result, you have a say in the health of every relationship in your life. They are healthy or not because of the role YOU play in them. If you're ever going to have a healthy family, a strong marriage, a solid connection with your kids, you've got to take responsibility for you. It all begins with you."
WOW. That is deep. What it boils down to is - my relationships can only be what my participation allows. I can either make it better or worse. Do other people play a role too? Yes, but it begins with me. I can change ME. I can't change other people. Just because it isn't my fault, doesn't mean it isn't my problem. So if my marriage isn't what I think it ought to be, then I better start working on myself. If my friendships aren't what I think they should be, I better be a better friend. If my relationship with my parents isn't good, then I can start working on being a better daughter. And since I know I'm not perfect, I have PLENTY of room to make changes.
I think as humans we just don't like to be responsible. We want to place the blame on other people. "well, THEY need to do this... THEY need to get better at that. I'm not the only one in the wrong." It began in the Garden of Eden with the very first sin. When Adam and Eve ate the forbidden fruit and God confronted them about it.. we all know what happened. Adam blamed Eve for giving him the fruit. Eve blamed the snake for giving her the fruit. Nobody wants to take responsibility. Because it takes admitting that we are wrong. And that is NOT fun.
But if I want to grow as a person, as a Christian, as a wife, as a daughter, as a friend- I need to take responsibility for me.
Psalm 139:23-24 "Search me, O God, and know my heart. test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends You, and lead me along the path of everlasting life."
I want that to be my prayer. That God would point out things in my life that need to change (and believe me, He's already gotten started!!!). And then, I want to let Him change me; to make me better. So that my marriage can be better, my friendships can be better, my relationships can be the best that they possibly can be. I want to take responsibility for me.
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Move On
Philippians 3:13 ESV "Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do, forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead."
When I read this verse today it got me to thinking about how so many of us dwell on the past. The old ways of doing things, the old relationships we had, the old mistakes we made. We live our lives regretting things we did. Or wishing we had done something that we didn't do. I like this verse because the whole message of it is to MOVE ON. Holding onto things that have happened in the past or things that didn't happen in the past is a waste of time. God wants to be about our future not our past. The old way of doing things may have been great, but this is today. God has a plan for today and it may not be the same as the plan for yesterday. The old mistakes we made may have been terrible. But God has grace for us today and if we've confessed those mistakes and asked for grace, then those mistakes are gone and forgotten by Him. We may wish we had done something that we were too scared to do, but God gives new chances today. It's time for us to move on. Time to take hold of the future that He's holding out to us. There are great things lying ahead of us. It's time to let go of bitterness and unforgiveness that we're holding onto because of things that were done to us. It's time to let go of the guilt and shame for the mistakes we've made. Let's move on and strain forward to what lies ahead.
When I read this verse today it got me to thinking about how so many of us dwell on the past. The old ways of doing things, the old relationships we had, the old mistakes we made. We live our lives regretting things we did. Or wishing we had done something that we didn't do. I like this verse because the whole message of it is to MOVE ON. Holding onto things that have happened in the past or things that didn't happen in the past is a waste of time. God wants to be about our future not our past. The old way of doing things may have been great, but this is today. God has a plan for today and it may not be the same as the plan for yesterday. The old mistakes we made may have been terrible. But God has grace for us today and if we've confessed those mistakes and asked for grace, then those mistakes are gone and forgotten by Him. We may wish we had done something that we were too scared to do, but God gives new chances today. It's time for us to move on. Time to take hold of the future that He's holding out to us. There are great things lying ahead of us. It's time to let go of bitterness and unforgiveness that we're holding onto because of things that were done to us. It's time to let go of the guilt and shame for the mistakes we've made. Let's move on and strain forward to what lies ahead.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Thanks, God
I opened my Bible today and just happened upon some verses that took my breath away and I wanted to share them.
Ephesians 2:1-6 "It wasn't so long ago that you were mired in that old stagnant life of sin. You let the world, which doesn't know the first thing about living, tell you how to live. You filled your lungs with polluted unbelief, and then exhaled disobedience. We all did it, all of us doing what we felt like doing, all of us in the same boat. It's a wonder God didn't lose his temper and do away with the whole lot of us. Instead, immense in mercy and with an incredible love, he embraced us. He took our sin-dead lives and made us alive in Christ. He did this all on his own, with no help from us! Then he picked us up and set us down in highest company with Jesus, our Messiah."
I don't really know what else to say except I'm thankful. Thankful that my God is immense in mercy and has an incredible love. I'm thankful for his embrace. I'm thankful that He has taken my mess of a life that I have offered to Him and has made something alive out of it.
What else can I say? Thanks, God.
Ephesians 2:1-6 "It wasn't so long ago that you were mired in that old stagnant life of sin. You let the world, which doesn't know the first thing about living, tell you how to live. You filled your lungs with polluted unbelief, and then exhaled disobedience. We all did it, all of us doing what we felt like doing, all of us in the same boat. It's a wonder God didn't lose his temper and do away with the whole lot of us. Instead, immense in mercy and with an incredible love, he embraced us. He took our sin-dead lives and made us alive in Christ. He did this all on his own, with no help from us! Then he picked us up and set us down in highest company with Jesus, our Messiah."
I don't really know what else to say except I'm thankful. Thankful that my God is immense in mercy and has an incredible love. I'm thankful for his embrace. I'm thankful that He has taken my mess of a life that I have offered to Him and has made something alive out of it.
What else can I say? Thanks, God.
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Out with the Old, In with the New
Change. I hate it. I am a lover of routine (as long as I like the routine). Some people thrive on change, but I am not one of those people. I love the comfortable, the familiar. It's like a worn out pair of pajamas (which happens to be one of my favorite things in the entire universe). Routine and the familiar represents safety to me and I love that. Who doesn't want safety and comfort? But the older I get, and unfortunately I am getting older, I realize more and more that change is inevitable. It comes when you least expect it and least desire it. Just when you settle into a routine, something happens and you have to get used to a new routine. Take the time change for instance. Happens twice a year. My body gets used to one time and then behold, daylight savings time begins. I start a semester with one clinic schedule and then 8 weeks later, I have to get used to a whole new clinic schedule.
I am not the only one who hates change. My dog-child hates it too. Fifer has a toy that he has ripped to shreds. He loves that toy. He sleeps with it, he chews on it, he licks it, he plays fetch with it. However, that toy is really nothing more than a ripped up piece of material now. So, tonight I decided to get him a brand new toy. It is exactly what his chewed up toy was before he destroyed it. It is the same color and everything. But when I threw away his old toy and gave him his new one, he stood at the trash can and cried for his old one. Here I was giving him something better, but he wanted his old piece of crap, ripped up toy.
We are so much like that. We want to hold onto things that aren't important. We want to stay where we are most comfortable instead of embracing the new things that God might have for us. We want to hang onto our habits that aren't pleasing to Him. There have been so many times when I've felt a call on my life to do something in particular that has caused me to have to step out of my comfort zone, out of the familiar and I haven't wanted to do it. Sometimes I didn't answer that call. Sometimes I just stayed put where I was comfortable. But I missed out on something better because of it. I missed out on God's best because I wanted to hang onto my "chewed up toy".
It reminds me of the man in Mark 10 who asked Jesus what he must do to have eternal life. Jesus told him to sell everything he had and give it to the poor and then follow Him. In vs. 22 it says "The man's face clouded over. This was the last thing he expected to hear, and he walked off with a heavy heart. He was holding on tight to a lot of things, and not about to let go." Do you realize what that man gave up for his possessions? Eternal life. Talk about not liking change. This man must have really hated change.
How much do we miss out on because we're still "holding on tight to a lot of things, and not about to let go"?
I am not the only one who hates change. My dog-child hates it too. Fifer has a toy that he has ripped to shreds. He loves that toy. He sleeps with it, he chews on it, he licks it, he plays fetch with it. However, that toy is really nothing more than a ripped up piece of material now. So, tonight I decided to get him a brand new toy. It is exactly what his chewed up toy was before he destroyed it. It is the same color and everything. But when I threw away his old toy and gave him his new one, he stood at the trash can and cried for his old one. Here I was giving him something better, but he wanted his old piece of crap, ripped up toy.
We are so much like that. We want to hold onto things that aren't important. We want to stay where we are most comfortable instead of embracing the new things that God might have for us. We want to hang onto our habits that aren't pleasing to Him. There have been so many times when I've felt a call on my life to do something in particular that has caused me to have to step out of my comfort zone, out of the familiar and I haven't wanted to do it. Sometimes I didn't answer that call. Sometimes I just stayed put where I was comfortable. But I missed out on something better because of it. I missed out on God's best because I wanted to hang onto my "chewed up toy".
It reminds me of the man in Mark 10 who asked Jesus what he must do to have eternal life. Jesus told him to sell everything he had and give it to the poor and then follow Him. In vs. 22 it says "The man's face clouded over. This was the last thing he expected to hear, and he walked off with a heavy heart. He was holding on tight to a lot of things, and not about to let go." Do you realize what that man gave up for his possessions? Eternal life. Talk about not liking change. This man must have really hated change.
How much do we miss out on because we're still "holding on tight to a lot of things, and not about to let go"?
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Committment: In it for the long haul
I am coming to find that our generation doesn't know the meaning of committment. Nobody sticks with anything anymore. When someone gets tired of something, it doesn't matter that they have made a committment, they just quit. When things get tough or uncomfortable, they just quit. Or they just do a half-hearted job at it. It's like when something takes extra effort or work, everybody bails. I've seen it time and time again. Marriages, churches, jobs, parenting. No one wants to work for anything anymore. And what is most sad about that is the things that are most rewarding, take the most work. When people quit, they are throwing away the opportunity to see an amazing outcome.
I remember when I was learning to play the piano, I played all the time. But I hated practicing scales. It was awful. I wanted to just play a song. But you have to learn the basics before you can play a song. It takes work. It takes practice, but the outcome is so worth it.
I learned about committment from some key people in my life. My parents were great teachers about committment. My mother would never let me quit anything. She always made me stick it out. She told me that my word should mean something. I also learned about committment from people that I served along side of in ministry. Ministry is hard. People don't appreciate the hard work you put in and the hours that you spend preparing. Most of the time it goes unnoticed. But when you are committed to a cause, you stick with it and seeing lives touched makes it worth it. Seeing people that continue to stick with things when it's tough makes me respect them even more.
Hebrews 10:36 (the Message) "But you need to stick it out, staying with God's plan so you'll be there for the promised completion."
I hope my word means something to people. I hope that committment is evident in my life. I want to be in it for the long haul. Even when it's hard and tough and uncomfortable. I want to be there for the promised completion.
I remember when I was learning to play the piano, I played all the time. But I hated practicing scales. It was awful. I wanted to just play a song. But you have to learn the basics before you can play a song. It takes work. It takes practice, but the outcome is so worth it.
I learned about committment from some key people in my life. My parents were great teachers about committment. My mother would never let me quit anything. She always made me stick it out. She told me that my word should mean something. I also learned about committment from people that I served along side of in ministry. Ministry is hard. People don't appreciate the hard work you put in and the hours that you spend preparing. Most of the time it goes unnoticed. But when you are committed to a cause, you stick with it and seeing lives touched makes it worth it. Seeing people that continue to stick with things when it's tough makes me respect them even more.
Hebrews 10:36 (the Message) "But you need to stick it out, staying with God's plan so you'll be there for the promised completion."
I hope my word means something to people. I hope that committment is evident in my life. I want to be in it for the long haul. Even when it's hard and tough and uncomfortable. I want to be there for the promised completion.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
A Gift of Encouragement
I Thessalonians 5:11
"Therefore encourage one another and build up one another, just as you also are doing."
There are so many people hurting in the world today. People on our streets. People at our work. People in our schools. People in our families. Strangers. Friends. Families falling apart. Marriages that are being broken. Families battling with cancer, death, money problems. Everywhere I turn I see people struggling with things in their lives. So what can we do to help? We can't mend broken homes. We can't heal cancer or raise the dead. We can't pay off people's mortgages ( at least most of us can't). But we can speak words of encouragement into people's lives. We can send random texts or facebook comments or cards in the mail. We can make quick phone calls. It doesn't take a lot of time or effort to be an encouragement.
People want to feel important, valued, thought of. There is nothing worse than feeling ignored, or taken for granted, or invisible.
A few weeks ago I was really stressed about some things going on in my life and when asked how I was doing by a friend, I told the truth. That I was stressed. Instead of answering with a general "fine", I told him that I was stressed to the max. A couple of days later, I got a text from several friends just saying they were praying for me. I also got a phone call from a friend who prayed with me over the phone. When I got off the phone, I broke down and cried. That phone call meant more to me than that friend will ever know. Sometimes we need someone to take the time to let us know they are thinking about us, that they love us, that they are there for us, that they are praying for us.
After that phone call, I began to make it a point to text, make phone calls, or send emails randomly to friends. Even if they hadn't said anything at all about struggling with anything in their life. Sometimes people just need some encouragement. If we could all take the time to encourage 1 person every day, what kind of difference could we make in the lives around us?
"Therefore encourage one another and build up one another, just as you also are doing."
There are so many people hurting in the world today. People on our streets. People at our work. People in our schools. People in our families. Strangers. Friends. Families falling apart. Marriages that are being broken. Families battling with cancer, death, money problems. Everywhere I turn I see people struggling with things in their lives. So what can we do to help? We can't mend broken homes. We can't heal cancer or raise the dead. We can't pay off people's mortgages ( at least most of us can't). But we can speak words of encouragement into people's lives. We can send random texts or facebook comments or cards in the mail. We can make quick phone calls. It doesn't take a lot of time or effort to be an encouragement.
People want to feel important, valued, thought of. There is nothing worse than feeling ignored, or taken for granted, or invisible.
A few weeks ago I was really stressed about some things going on in my life and when asked how I was doing by a friend, I told the truth. That I was stressed. Instead of answering with a general "fine", I told him that I was stressed to the max. A couple of days later, I got a text from several friends just saying they were praying for me. I also got a phone call from a friend who prayed with me over the phone. When I got off the phone, I broke down and cried. That phone call meant more to me than that friend will ever know. Sometimes we need someone to take the time to let us know they are thinking about us, that they love us, that they are there for us, that they are praying for us.
After that phone call, I began to make it a point to text, make phone calls, or send emails randomly to friends. Even if they hadn't said anything at all about struggling with anything in their life. Sometimes people just need some encouragement. If we could all take the time to encourage 1 person every day, what kind of difference could we make in the lives around us?
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Fresh Beginnings.. Here's to 2011
I wanted to write an incredibly fascinating, deep blog about my hopes and dreams for this new year. However, I am not really a deep blogger. I just have simple thoughts and musings. So, I will just share a few with whoever might come across this particular blog. If you are looking for something deep and profound, you might want to read something else :)
2010 was a good year. Nothing incredibly exceptional happened except the beginning of my journey in nursing school which has been quite terrifying and exhilarating at the same time. It passed like the blink of an eye and I'm sure that 2011 will pass just as quickly. I have continued in my trend of NOT making New Years Resolutions but I do have some hopes and goals I would like to accomplish in this year.
I want to continue in my quest for a healthier lifestyle.. if that includes some weight-loss, that would be ever so fine with me. If not, at least I'm exercising and trying to eat a little bit better. I would like to try to manage my time a little bit better this year, particularly with my nursing studies. But my biggest goal is to graduate from nursing school in December. That will quite possibly be the biggest accomplishment of my grown-up life and in graduating, I would actually be finishing something that I started.
But more than anything, I really want to be able to look back over the year of 2011 and feel proud of what I've done and who I have become over the year. I want to have few regrets. I want to have my heart feel full when I think about the time I've spent with family and friends.
So, here's to fresh beginnings, Here's to 2011
2010 was a good year. Nothing incredibly exceptional happened except the beginning of my journey in nursing school which has been quite terrifying and exhilarating at the same time. It passed like the blink of an eye and I'm sure that 2011 will pass just as quickly. I have continued in my trend of NOT making New Years Resolutions but I do have some hopes and goals I would like to accomplish in this year.
I want to continue in my quest for a healthier lifestyle.. if that includes some weight-loss, that would be ever so fine with me. If not, at least I'm exercising and trying to eat a little bit better. I would like to try to manage my time a little bit better this year, particularly with my nursing studies. But my biggest goal is to graduate from nursing school in December. That will quite possibly be the biggest accomplishment of my grown-up life and in graduating, I would actually be finishing something that I started.
But more than anything, I really want to be able to look back over the year of 2011 and feel proud of what I've done and who I have become over the year. I want to have few regrets. I want to have my heart feel full when I think about the time I've spent with family and friends.
So, here's to fresh beginnings, Here's to 2011
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