Under Control

Hebrews 2:8 "Now in putting everything in subjection to him, he left nothing outside his control."

There is nothing outside His control. I feel like I need to repeat that over and over like a mantra. We are in the middle of selling our house. We have a contract on our house and we have a contract on the house we are buying. Closing dates have both been set for November 21. Then...... yesterday, we get a call from our realtor telling us that our house appraised SIGNIFICANTLY lower than the purchase price on our house. I felt sick immediately. All I could think was "What are we going to do??" Of course I immediately started praying asking God the same kinds of questions "What is your plan in this? This seems hopeless." And of course He answered me back.. because that's what He does. In that quiet voice that I have come to recognize very well, He answered me back.. "Don't you trust me?"
I think this verse was another answer to me this morning. It isn't a coincidence that I would read this in my quiet time with Him this morning. "There is nothing outside my control." He owns our house. It doesn't really belong to us. If He wants to sell it, then it will appraise for what it needs to appraise for. My answer to his question "Don't you trust me?" can be a wholehearted "YES! I trust you completely! You have ALWAYS been faithful and you have NEVER left me alone to deal with overwhelming circumstances." He has never disappointed me. He may not let our house sell. But I can trust Him because I know his heart. Because I have taken time to get to know Him and recognize His voice. I know I can trust him always. What a place of peace this is. That no matter what kind of storm or problem may come our way, He has everything under control.

Love versus Law

I'm finding that my views on Christianity and what it means to be a believer of Christ is changing the older I get. I remember as a little girl, laying in my bed at night, praying and asking God to forgive me of my sins because I was afraid that if the rapture happened in the middle of the night that I wouldn't be taken to heaven because I had sinned that day. I was consumed with the fact that I was breaking the "law" of the Bible. I felt the constant need to be good, to try to measure up. After all, Christians are supposed to look different, right? But as I have gotten older, and as I have dug into the Bible to find the truth and what it means to me, I have seen that the New Testament isn't full of the law. It's full of love. The truth is, I don't care who you are, your life is never going to look the way it should. I'm always going to struggle with wanting to be about myself.
This morning, I was reading in 1 Timothy chapter 1. Paul says "the goal of this command is love, which comes with a pure heart, and a good conscience, and a sincere faith." That really is the goal. It's all about love. Christ's love that He so abundantly and graciously poured out on us. And we don't deserve it. When we experience His love, the pure heart, the good conscience, and the sincere faith comes with it. It's a natural work that Christ's love does in our hearts and lives. It changes us. I'm so thankful that it has and will continue to change me. I can go to sleep at night and rest easy that his sacrifice and my acceptance of it has made me righteous in his sight. He doesn't see my dirty sinful life anymore. He sees me clean, washed white by his perfect sacrifice.

Clean up

The ice storm of 2014 is officially over and I'm so glad. Sunny skies and temperatures in the 60's, no wait, the 70's??? are here for a bit. I'm thankful that we were spared much of the damage, but there have been so many to have lost property to damage from the ice. Many are still without power and it's amazing how dependent we are on power.
Yesterday while I was out driving around, I was struck by all the brokenness I saw everywhere. Trees were laying in the road, power lines were down, branches were broken off, etc. It reminded me of what our brokenness must look like to God. We have all struggled with things in our lives that have left us broken. I know that I have. There was a time in my life several years ago where I felt like my life was spiraling out of control. I had lost my job and we were in deep debt. Our marriage was struggling due to the lack of time spent together. I was struggling with infertility. I felt extremely broken. My life looked like a mess (even if it didn't on the outside). But there is something special about brokenness. It puts you in a place to start over and I love starting over. Nothing feels better than a fresh start. As, I was out driving around in the mess, I saw so many people out cleaning up the mess in their yards. There were neighbors and families working together. It was taking hard work, but the end result would be something new. That's what happened in my life. When I reached that point of brokenness, I cried out to God for a fresh start. I was ready for a change. I knew it would take hard work. Hard work to get out of our debt. Hard work to put in the time to develop a stronger marriage. Hard work to depend on God to either help us get pregnant or give me peace if that was not His will. And God was FAITHFUL. He gave me strength to put in that hard work. He gave me neighbors and family, a community, that I could depend on for prayers and support. And God rebuilt my life.... because that's what God does. His mercies are new every morning (Lamentations 3:23). And He gives us a crown of beauty instead of ashes (Isaiah 61:1-3)
So, while you may still be without power, or cleaning up the huge mess in your yard, or without cable (like me), take this time to reflect on what God can do with the brokenness in your life. Allow Him to work in your life. There can be something beautiful that comes out of that brokenness.

A look back at 2013

2013. What a year! I can honestly say that 2013 was the most challenging year of my life. We became parents for the very first time after an incredibly difficult pregnancy and an even more difficult post-partum period, with Jonah spending time in the NICU. And nothing could have prepared me for coming home with a 4 lb preemie that still wasn't very good at drinking a bottle without choking. I will never forget the desperate, hormonal prayers I sent up to my Heavenly Father during that time. In 2013, I found God in a new way. I found him in my most needy place.
Psalm 18 was my theme for 2013
"I love you, Lord, my strength. The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer, my God is my rock, in whom I take Refuge; my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. I called to the Lord, who is worthy of praise, and I have been saved from my enemies. The cords of death entangled me; the torrents of destruction overwhelmed me. The cords of the grave coiled around me; the snares of death confronted me. In my distress I called to the Lord. I cried to my God for help. From his temple he heard my voice. my cry came before him, into his ears. "
He has been my rock,my fortress, and my deliverer. I wouldn't want to relive 2013 again, but I would simply for the fact that it brought me closer to Christ. It made me a stronger woman. It made me a mother. It made me appreciate my husband in a new way.
I never would have guessed that I would be thankful for struggle and trials, but I have learned to appreciate them for what they bring. They bring character and they help mold you into the image of Christ.

Here are a few pictures of our 2013

We are so incredibly thankful for the trials and miracles that 2013 brought our way