Shock and Awe

If you know anything about me, you know I really am one of the most blunt people you will ever meet in your life. I say what I think.. sometimes much to the embarrassment of my husband. If I had a nickel for every time he looked at me in shock and said, "Lori!!!!", I would be a very rich woman. Over my life, I have left a lot of hurt feelings in my wake. I used to rationalize this by saying, Hey- at least I'm honest! But as I have gotten older, more of my dear friends have taken me aside to point out that hurting people's feelings is not just being "honest", it's being mean. I used to think that there wasn't anything I could do about this. I was born this way. I was born without a filter between my brain and my mouth. However,I have learned this is just an excuse. It is an excuse to allow myself to continue in bad habits of saying everything that I think. Don't get me wrong, one of the things I love about myself is that I say what I think. But it's never okay to say EVERYTHING that I think. I don't mind shocking people. Sometimes I think people need to be shocked.I am all for the shock and awe :) But I don't ever want my honesty to hurt someone. Words hurt worse than anything. I would rather be punched in the gut than have someone say something hurtful to me. Our physical wounds heal so much faster than our emotional wounds. I'm sure if you are reading this, you can think back to a time when somebody said something that hurt you. It was probably years ago, but yet you still remember that. Words leave a mark on your soul.
Last night, I found this quote by an unknown author and it set me to thinking about my words.
"A careless word may kindle strife. A cruel word may wreck a life. A timely word may lessen stress. A loving word may heal and bless" - author unknown

I hope my words lessen stress. I hope my words are the kind that heal and bless. I don't want to use the excuse that at least I'm being "honest" anymore. I want to challenge myself to think before I speak. I want to learn to draw the line between honesty and hurtful. It's such a thin line.

Just Keep Swimming.....

This week has been so stressful. Nothing has gone like I planned or hoped it would. It all began with me getting really sick on Sunday then having to start a new minimester in nursing school. Because it was the very beginning of a new semester I absolutely could not miss the first couple of days or I would be so incredibly behind, so I have had to go to school sick and feeling awful this week. It is only Wednesday and I honestly am already counting down the minutes until the weekend gets here. What is so horrible is that the weekend is bringing its own stress with it. I have homework due on Sunday at midnight, none of the laundry has been done in over a week, the house is a disaster, and we have a preview service on Saturday night for a church plant we are involved in.
I know, I know, this sounds like a complaining session already.. But I share all of this because I know this happens to everyone. We all have weeks like this where nothing goes right, or we have so much going on we just want to hide under the bed. Life can be so busy and so incredibly stressful. Sometimes you just want to take a time out. It would be nice right now if I could take a time out. Unfortunately, life doesn't give us opportunities to take a time out. Time just keeps plugging right along.
So, today in the midst of my overwhelming stress, I came across an amazing version of one of my favorite verses.
Philippians 4:13 says " I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength."
but this version is the one that spoke the most to me today.....
"Whatever I have, Wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am."
I really really really needed that today. I have been reciting it over and over in my mind. I have been meditating on it. I desperately needed to know that I can make it through anything in Christ. He's the One who makes me capable of things I would never be capable of ordinarily. He is the One who makes me able to handle things I would never be able to handle. He is the One who gives me words to say when I could never think of them on my own. He is the One who will give me the strength to make it through this week of struggle. So, tonight... I will rest in knowing that I can make it through anything with His help. I may feel out of control but He won't let me be overwhelmed.
It reminds me of one of my all-time favorite movies "Finding Nemo".. I love Dorie and when she is singing "just keeping swimming. Just keeping swimming." I love her optimism and the way she just keeps plugging along with her oblivious innocence.
So, tonight, with his help.. I'm gonna just keep swimming.... just keep plugging along and I can rest in knowing that I know the One who makes me who I am and He's gonna take care of it all. He's gonna give me the strength to get through it.