Discipline : A Painful Process

Discipline is a thing I lack. I am getting better at it in some areas of my life and in others I still am far from where I would like to be, where I should be. I have found it to be a very difficult thing to achieve. Especially because becoming a person that is disciplined is a painful process. It takes a lot of effort. It takes sacrificing what you want for what you know is best. Sacrifice is uncomfortable. Discipline is uncomfortable. It takes focus. It takes resolve. It takes having real priorities. If something isn't super important to you, you will not make changes to become disciplined in that area.
In November, I began a "quest" to become a healthier me. Not so much in the eating habits but by working out and becoming more active. I had become lazy and overweight and my self-esteem had really suffered because of that. It took someone pointing out that to me for me to really get to a place where I sincerely was ready to make a change, to cultivate some discipline in that area of my life. It took me admitting I needed a change and then caring enough to actually do something about it.
That is what discipline is all about. Recognizing something that needs to change, caring enough about making the change, then DOING something about it. Just knowing you need to change isn't enough. Just caring about it isn't enough. It takes action too. And it's never easy. If it was easy, we would all have ourselves together.
The first few months of my journey to be more active were not fun. I did not enjoy getting up in the morning and hitting the gym when I could be in the bed or on the couch watching tv. But when I started seeing results, I felt a sense of accomplishment at what I had done and that fueled my desire to continue this new lifestyle even more.
I know that I need to start applying this to other areas of my life as well. I need to recognize areas of my life that are in need of a change, I need to care about making the change, and then I need to actually DO SOMETHING about it. Getting to that point takes time and I know it will be an uncomfortable process, but I also know from experience that it will be worth it in the end. I need to sacrifice some wants for what is best.

God I look to you

God I look to you. I won't be overwhelmed
Give me vision to see things like You do
God I look to you. You're where my help comes from
Give me wisdom; You know just what to do

I will love You Lord my strength
I will love You Lord my shield
I will love You Lord my rock forever
All my days I will love you God

Hallelujah our God reigns
Hallelujah our God reigns
Hallelujah our God reigns forever
All my days Hallelujah

-God I look to You by Jenn Johnson, Bethel Live (Be Lifted High)

Vigilance

Vigilance is a big word. It is a word people don't really use alot these days. According to Merriam-Webster online, it's first use was in the 15th century. Its definition is to be alertly watchful especially to avoid danger.
I am an avid reader which is probably why I thought of this word today when reading a bible verse a friend had posted on his facebook.
"Keep watch and pray, so that you will not give into temptation. For the spirit is willing, but the body is weak." Matt. 26:41
Simple verse but sure is good advice! I read that and felt like God must have known I needed to read it today. Really, I need to read it every day. Temptations are all around us. Today I was tempted to throw a fit when something didn't go my way. Yesterday I was tempted to spend money that we don't have to spend. Tomorrow I will probably be tempted again. I don't know about you- but if I'm being really transparent here- I am tempted every single day in some way or other. I'm tempted to be discontent with things in my life. I'm tempted to be selfish. I'm tempted to be mean and moody. I don't want to be discontented. I don't want to be selfish. I don't want to be mean and moody. My spirit is willing. But my body is so so so weak.
But here in this simple verse is the key. Vigilance. That is the key. Being alertly watchful. Being on the lookout for the temptation. If we spot it first, we can pray. And if we pray, we can overcome it.

So, just a challenge to whoever might read this and to myself. Be vigilant. Keep watch and pray so that you don't give into the temptations of today.

The Real Thing

It is Corey and my 4 year wedding anniversary. Hard to believe it's been 4 years already. It has gone by so fast and yet it's funny how I struggle to remember my life before he was in it. I have learned so much in these four years about myself, about love, about sacrifice, about putting someone else before myself. And yet, I still have so so much to learn. I consider myself incredibly blessed to have married my best friend. Without a shadow of a doubt, I know I married who the Lord hand-picked for me. The other day, I was talking to a girl, about 20 years old, about how I "knew" Corey was the one. She asked me how did I know? I told her it wasn't anything super romantic or earth-shattering. I told her that I knew because I'd rather spend time with him than anyone else and that feeling hadn't gone away after 6 months (which it had in the past with others). I knew because I saw things in him that I wanted to see in myself. He truly makes me better.

Marriage is hard work, but when you're working on it together with your best friend, it doesn't feel quite as hard. I can say that today, 4 years after marrying him, I love him so much more and in such a deeper way. I know that there will never be anyone better suited for me. It makes you feel pretty special to know that somebody loves all of you... the good, the bad, and the ugly. That my friends, is the real thing.

here are some pictures that I think summarize the best of these past 4 years...