From my point of view..

Reckless Abandon

2012-02-03T07:28:00.000-08:00

As you know if you read my blog frequently enough, I adore worship music. It is one of my passions. I think you can experience God on another level through the worshipping of him through music.
What sparked this blog was some worship I was watching this week from Bethel Music. I was fascinated with the way they worship. They are so open and free. I had one of my friends watch the video too and they didn't quite get it. But while I watched, I was envious. I want to be able to worship that open and free. They worship with "reckless abandon". By reckless abandon, I mean, they worship free from any constraints. They plunge in head first and don't think about what anyone else is thinking or feeling. They just want to bask in the presence of the Holy Spirit. I think that is what we are missing. We think that worship should be this "reverent, subdued" time. Don't get me wrong, there is a time for that. But I think we miss so much of experiencing his presence because we are too worried about making someone uncomfortable or someone thinking we are weird. There is freedom when we lift our hands, freedom when allow ourselves to express our worship in our own way.
Here is the link to one of the videos of this worship

After I watched this video, it just made me wonder what I might be missing in my worship experience by holding back. If I really let myself go, if I really worshipped with total reckless abandon, what would it feel like? What might God be able to do in me and through me?
Just a thought... Hope you enjoy the video!

The Community of Christ

2012-01-25T18:55:00.000-08:00

"8Let me say first of all that your faith in God is becoming known throughout the world. How I thank God through Jesus Christ for each one of you. 9God knows how often I pray for you. Day and night I bring you and your needs in prayer to God, whom I serve with all my heart F2 by telling others the Good News about his Son.
10One of the things I always pray for is the opportunity, God willing, to come at last to see you. 11For I long to visit you so I can share a spiritual blessing with you that will help you grow strong in the Lord. 12I'm eager to encourage you in your faith, but I also want to be encouraged by yours. In this way, each of us will be a blessing to the other." Romans 1: 8-12

I was reading this passage in Romans tonight and I was struck with a familiarity of the feelings Paul was expressing in this passage when he wrote it. He was talking about longing for an opportunity to go visit this group of people because he wanted to be able to encourage them and in return be encouraged by them spiritually.
A couple of months ago, I wrote a blog about the power of community. When I wrote that blog, I talked about how people desire to be known and to know each other. But I think another great benefit of community is the encouragement it provides. To get together with a group of people that share things in common, to share goals, to share beliefs and to be able to spur one another on in life... well that is a great thing.
I am incredibly fortunate to be part of an amazing small group based out of my church. Every Sunday night we get together and hang out and discuss our faith in God and what God is doing in our lives, what He is teaching us. And every Sunday night when I leave, I leave energized and pumped up because of the things I hear my friends telling me. It excites me to hear what God is doing in their lives. It makes me look forward to seeing what God has in store for me too. It encourages me to dig deeper in the Word of God and to hear what He wants to say to me.
I think that is exactly what Paul was talking about in this passage of scripture. Even a great man of faith like Paul needed encouragement from other believers. The things that we go through from day to day can really weigh us down and to be able to get together with people who want to see God move in your life is like a breath of fresh air. We need that. We desperately need encouragement in our lives.
If you are reading this and you aren't experiencing this in your life, ask God to send you a group of people to encourage you spiritually, whether it is through a small group or something else. We need to spur each other on, to rally around each other, to hold each other's arms up when we get tired. That is the beauty of the community of Christ.

Creativity at its Finest

2012-01-14T14:05:00.000-08:00

I have been wanting to write this blog for weeks. I saw the most beautiful sky the other night while I was driving and was struck by the vivid colors and the designs in the clouds. It actually brought tears to my eyes and I thought "how on earth could anyone think something so incredibly magnificent could have come to be by chance". I believe with all my heart that I serve a creative God. One that can speak beauty into existence by whispering a single word. One that sits on his throne and laughs with delight when he watches his creation do what they were created to do.
I went in search of some beautiful things, some really creative things that capture a glimpse of God's creativity.

His creativity in a brilliant sky

The inspiration of a baby

the originality of a weird creature

We get glimpses of His genius every day.

His creativity completely takes my breath away.

Joy from Obedience

2012-01-07T15:22:00.001-08:00

Obedience. I hate that word. Because it requires me to do something that someone tells me to do. Ever since I was a child, I hated being told what to do. My mother could tell you some shocking stories (only they might not shock you if you know me well) about how I hated being told what to do. I hated being told what to wear. I hated being told to be quiet...the list goes on. I remember my mom telling me not to touch something because it was hot. What did I do? I put a finger on it just to show her that I would do what I wanted. As I have aged, this flaw of mine has only gotten worse. When Corey, my husband, tells me what I should do or what I shouldn't do, my answer is usually "Ok, dad" and then I usually do what I want anyway. Not my shining moments I assure you.
Today I came across an article that was about worship. It said that obedience is a requirement to worship.
John 14:15 says "If you love me, you will obey what I command." NIV and then in verse 21 "whoever has my commands and obeys them, he is the one who loves me. He who loves me will be loved by the Father, and I too will love him and show myself to him."

He's saying that obedience is how we show Him that we love Him. I don't think I do a very good job of showing Christ that I love Him. Instead, I fight what He asks me to do because I think I know what is best for me. Or I say I will do what He asks but then I really end up doing what I want instead. And it always ends up in a mess. Just like the time when I burned my finger trying to show my mom that she wasn't the boss of me. Isn't that ridiculous that at almost 30 years old I am still doing that? I would hope that I would have learned something by now. God has told me that he has plans for me. Big plans. Plans to give me a great future. Yet I still think I can do things my own way and that it will turn out perfectly.

I really want this year to be a year where I learn the joy that comes from obedience.
I want to learn from my mistakes. I want to follow God's plan for my life and not my own. I want to choose His ways. This is painful for me, but growing hurts sometimes and I know it's going to be worth it.

A Worshipper's Prayer

2012-01-05T07:11:00.000-08:00

I am scheduled to lead worship at my church this coming Sunday, and as I was preparing for that today, I stumbled across a song called "A Worshipper's Prayer". The words really spoke to my heart so I thought I would share the chorus here.

"'Cause here I am
And like a thousand times before, I sing again
And when all my simple words have found their end

Once again I'm even more amazed
By the beauty and the mystery of Your ways
Oh, how marvelous to hear You call my name

So when there's nothing left to bring
And there's no song left to sing
Here I am"- A Pocket Full Of Rocks

This new year I am looking forward to several things. One of them is not being a student anymore. Another one is getting to spend more time with my husband and family and friends. But the thing I am looking forward to most is using my time to grow closer in my relationship with the Lord. Our small group has talked alot about how we want to see God move in big ways in our hearts and lives this year. I think that for me, I am going to see this through my worship of Him. And I don't mean through just music. As much as I love music, love to sing, love to play music, what I am really talking about is the worship of God simply through offering myself to him. Offering every part of my life. I think as Christians we tend to compartmentalize our lives. Church, school, work, etc. And God may be in some of the compartments, but He isn't in all of them. This year, I want to tear down the walls, the compartments. I want him to consume every part of me and my life. I want Him to be evident in every part of my life. In the way I talk to people. In my attitudes. In my work ethic. In everything.
I think that is what real worship is. It is simply offering ourselves, all of us to Him, allowing Him to use us in any way He chooses, even if it's uncomfortable for us.
I want to have a true worshipper's heart this year. I want to honor Him with my life. I want to be bold in my faith.

If you want to check out the song, here is a link...

A Christmas Challenge

2011-11-25T14:38:00.000-08:00

I love Christmas time. I love the decorations, the tree, the lights, the holiday candles, the food, the stockings, the candy. I love burning a fire in the fireplace and drinking hot chocolate in my footy pajamas. I love Christmas music. I love spending time with my family and friends while we eat tons of food. (oh wait- I already mentioned the food). And I love presents. I love getting them. I love buying them. I love looking for good deals and how little things cost around Christmas time. But even though I buy things really cheap for Christmas, I still spend a lot of money around the holidays.
The other day I was talking to a good friend of mine about Christmas and how hectic it is and the insane amounts of money everyone spends at Christmas. It got me to thinking and so today I googled "how much Americans spend on Christmas". And then I happened upon this YouTube video.........

It amazed me how much we spend in the United States on Christmas gifts yearly. And then I was even more amazed at what could be done with just a fraction of that money.
So, I sat down with Corey and we decided as a family, we would take a portion of our Christmas budget and spend it on investing in clean water for those around the world that don't have access to clean water.
And this is my challenge to you. If you are reading this blog, will you do it too?

Purpose in Pain

2011-11-10T11:12:00.001-08:00

My last blog was pretty heavy. A blog about loss and grief and wondering what God's plan is in the middle of painful times. At the end of it, I focused myself on not the why, but the who. Sometimes all we have is the who. We know who God is and that He is good and that has to be enough in the painful times. But over the past month, I have seen evidence of purpose. I still don't have the answers to my "why's". But I see good in the middle of the bad. I have seen God's fingerprints weaved like a tapestry into times of hurt and pain and loss. I have seen miracles happen. Some little and some HUGE. Today I got to see a HUGE miracle happen in the life of my friend who has experienced tremendous loss. I saw weeping of joy even though it was still tinged with some sadness. I have seen God provide at the exact moment of need, at the very minute that worry had seeped in. I have seen moments of peace when peace couldn't be explained.
I love the line from the song "This is Our God" that says "He returns the wasted years"... Because it is so true! He has promised to take care of us in every single situation. It may not always look like what we had hoped for, what we had planned for. But He has promised to work things out for the good of those who love Him. And I have seen Him doing exactly that. I love watching Him work in the lives of others and in my own life too.
This last month and especially today have shown me how HUGE my God is. How EVIDENT He is! That all you have to do is keep your eyes open and you see glimpses of Him everywhere. He has a purpose always. ALWAYS! That is good enough to repeat. HE HAS A PURPOSE ALWAYS. And He is constantly working to accomplish His purpose. Even in the middle of pain

Isaiah 46:10
10 Declaring the end from the beginning, And from ancient times things which have not been done, Saying, `My purpose will be established, And I will accomplish all My good pleasure';

Suffering But Not Alone

2011-10-11T18:05:00.001-07:00

Not quite sure how to begin this blog. All I know is my heart is heavy and full of questions. Deep questions that I'm not sure I will ever have an answer for here on this earth. Questions like "why does God let people experience terrible suffering?" and "why do certain people have to suffer and others don't?"
These questions are stemmed from a recent loss in my friend's life. A really really devastating loss. And this friend has been through enough losses over the past several years. I don't understand why all of this is happening to my friend. I am absolutely heartbroken for her.
So because of this, I have been doing a lot of thinking about suffering. It should come as no surprise that I went digging in the book of Job in the Bible because if anyone was an expert on suffering, Job was. He lost his family, his health, his wealth... he lost everything except his own life. And somehow in all of that loss, he never turned his back on God. I find that amazing. Because I can't say that I wouldn't blame God if I lost my entire family and everything I owned and got so sick I couldn't function.
Not only did Job experience these losses, but his friends also blamed him for the afflictions that hit him. They told him that he must have done something to deserve God disciplining him like this. Wow... sounds like some Christians I know. Talk about kicking you when you're down...
So did I find answers to my questions about suffering? No. I didn't. I still don't understand why God allows things like this to happen to my friend. Why he lets people suffer for years and years..
But I do know this. I know the character of the God that I serve. I know that He is good, regardless of whether life is good. He still has a plan even when we can't see what that plan is. He still loves us. And I know that He is the ultimate comforter. I know that He brings peace and strength in the middle of impossible times. And He rebuilds things that were torn to pieces. He mends things that were broken beyond repair. And most of all, He never ever ever leaves us alone in the middle of our suffering. We might feel alone sometimes because all we can see is our circumstances, but it doesn't mean we are really alone.
Jeremiah 33 talks about the restoration work that God is capable of. And He is capable of healing the hurts that life brings. I'm thankful that He doesn't leave us alone in our sufferings. We are never out of his sight.
Some promises to hang on to in the middle of the sufferings:
Psalm 139:3 "You know when I leave and when I get back. I'm never out of your sight."
Deuteronomy 31:8 "The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged."

We might be suffering, but we are not alone.

Living Worthy of the Gift

2011-10-04T07:38:00.000-07:00

This morning I was reading in Galations 2:16-21. It talks about how we don't receive God's approval by anything other than believing in His Son, Jesus Christ. It isn't about following the law or the rules, or living according to a set of standards set for us. It's about the grace He has given us freely through the sacrifice of His Son.
Alot of times, I think we stop there and say, whew- good thing He doesn't expect me to live by these rules, because I just can't do it.
Don't get me wrong, I am thankful for His grace, because I know I can't live by these rules every day too. However, we conveniently leave out what follows the grace part. In vs. 17, it says "If we, the same people who are searching for God's approval in Christ, are still sinners, does that mean that Christ encourages us to sin? That's unthinkable!" then in vs.19-20 "When I tried to obey the law's standards, those laws killed me. As a result, I live in a relationship with God. I have been crucified with Christ. I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live I live by believing in God's Son, who loved me and took the punishment for my sins."
Because He lives in us from the time we believe in Him and accept His gift of salvation, we aren't doing anything on our own anymore. Of course, we can't obey the rules or live by the law on our own. We are nothing but sinners. But we have the secret: He lives in us now. So if we are still struggling with sins in our lives, it is because we are stifling the one that lives in us. We are silencing His voice. We aren't accepting the help that He is offering us to get us out of situations we shouldn't be in. We have been given a gift. A life-saving gift. And yet we still live like we are dying.
It would be like a heart-transplant patient. Before transplant, they can't do anything. They are usually bed-ridden and have difficulty doing any kind of care for themselves. But after they get a new heart and the transplant is successful, their life is changed. They can do things they never dreamed of doing. But what if they still lived like they used to? Staying in the bed all the time. Still having other people care for them. What would have been the point of the transplant?
We do the same thing. We have been given the gift of salvation. We have been given the secret to living a life that looks like Christ's. Yet we still live exactly the same.

Ephesians 4:1 tells us ".... I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received."
What would our lives look like if we lived a life worthy of the gift that we have received?

Not For the Faint of Heart

2011-08-28T13:12:00.000-07:00

I just finished doing the homework for my small group lesson tonight and I am left feeling convicted, uncomfortable, yet excited about the way God spoke to me through the lesson. The very first chapter of the book was all about being used by God. Ironic too because that was exactly what the pastor spoke on this morning too.
Romans 12:1-2 "1So here's what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life--your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life--and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. 2Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you." The Message
I read this in about 4 different versions because I have heard these verses my entire life and I wanted them to speak to me in a new way and they did!
God wants to use us to transform the world through his church. And I'm not doing my part in that.
In the book I read it said "Serving God is not a bed of roses. You take your hits, the shine comes off, and you have to replace parts here and there. Sometimes it's a hurtful thing. But it beats spending your life never experiencing what you were built to do." WOW..... this life of presenting yourself as a living sacrifice to God isn't easy. It is uncomfortable. It means getting rid of your own selfish desires and ambitions. It isn't for the faint of heart. But it sure beats not ever experiencing life the way God intended for us. He came that we would have life and have it FULLY! (John 10:10)

I want to have a full life. The kind that God intended for me to have and I really don't want to cheat myself out of living a life like that.

"If you live gladly to make others glad in God, your life will be hard, your risks will be high, and your joy will be full." -John Piper

When God Gives a Big Fat No

2011-08-18T14:52:00.000-07:00

I hate being told "no". I am one of the most headstrong people you will ever meet. Ask my husband. I can remember growing up in my teenage years and being unable to wait for the day when I would be out on my own and wouldn't have to do what my parents told me anymore. What a joke! Adulthood is full of having to do what other people tell you to.. who knew??
Even now, I struggle daily with being the submissive wife like the Bible tells me I am supposed to be. I dislike being told what to wear, to hide my nose piercing, that I can't spend money on certain things that I want, etc. I have a rebellious spirit, I guess.
I think that is why I really hate it when God tells me "no". I have plans for my life and I think they are great, and when God comes along and says, "no" or "not right now" or "I have something else for you", it really is a difficult pill for me to swallow. I want to argue and tell Him that my way is best, that I know myself really well and I know what I need and when I need it.
That's why sometimes I need this little reminder....
"I don't think the way you think. The way you work isn't the way I work., God's decree. For as the sky soars high above the earth, so the way I work surpasses the way you work, and the way I think is beyond what you think" Isaiah 55:8-9
These have been some of my favorite verses since I was a teenager. Probably because of my rebellious, authority-hating nature!
When you really think about it from God's perspective, it's actually kind of laughable. The "created" telling the Creator who/what they should be! It's ridiculous. The Creator would be the only one that would know best what the "created" should look like and what the "created" should do.
So, today, I am uncomfortable with the "no's" I am getting, but I am learning invaluable lessons through it. I am learning to submit to One who honestly does know what is best for me. He honestly knows exactly what I need and when I need it.

Self vs. Spirit

2011-07-25T06:53:00.000-07:00

I listened to a great sermon yesterday that was about being filled with the Holy Spirit. And because my mind tends to head in other directions, I found myself thinking about what people are filled with if they aren't filled with the Spirit. I think I figured it out. We are filled with ourselves. When we have bad attitudes, it is because we are thinking of ourselves. When we sin, it is because we are thinking of ourselves. When we back out of commitments, it is because we are thinking of ourselves.... I think you are getting the point.
I stumbled upon these verses in the Message version that I think sums this up pretty well.
"My counsel is this: Live freely, animated and motivated by God's Spirit. Then you won't feed the compulsions of selfishness. For there is a root of sinful self-interest in us that is at odds with a free spirit, just as the free spirit is incompatible with selfishness. These two ways of life are antithetical, so that you cannot live at times one way and at times another way according to how you feel on any given day."
Galations 5:16-17
We are either feeding the compulsions of self or we are living motivated by God's Spirit. You can't do both....you have to choose. If you are motivated by the Spirit then you aren't motivated by self. If you are motivated by self, then you can't be motivated by the Spirit because the two have completely different interests.
It is hard for me to imagine living life not motivated by myself. We make decisions based on what is best for ourselves all the time. That's how we decide which house to buy, what job to take, what school to go to...........I wonder what our decisions would look like if we based them on the Spirit instead.
But I know this; we are sinful creatures and the war will continue to rage within us. But I firmly believe if we ask God for help, He will give us the strength we need and the Spirit side will start to win more of those battles than the self side.
So this week, as I am starting this Monday, I am asking God for help; Help to rid myself of myself :) And be filled up by His Spirit so that I can live a life pleasing to Him.

Finishing Strong

2011-07-20T08:03:00.000-07:00

I have recently become a runner. Having never been an athlete in any form or capacity in my entire life, this is a real accomplishment for me. I remember the day I made it to 30 minutes of straight running. Talk about wanting to throw a party to celebrate! I felt like I had finally accomplished something. All of those days of feeling like my lungs were going to explode in my chest or that I might fall off the treadmill if I had to keep going finally were worth it. Now that I have gotten to a point where I can run for 30 minutes, it is time to start training for something. (At least that is what all the running articles I have read have said)... So.. my very first 5k will be in October.
Our spiritual life is compared to a race too.
"Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us." Hebrews 12:1
It is interesting to me that Paul compared it to a race. Now that I am training for one, I know how important it is to fix your eyes on the finish. When you have a goal, it is so much easier to keep at something. God knew that the spiritual walk wasn't going to be easy for us. He knew it would take discipline (perseverance) to make it to the end. He knew we would want to give up. He knew there would be serious roadblocks in our way. That is why he specifically gives us some tips...
1. throw off everything that hinders us
There are a lot of things that hinder me when I am running. What I ate that day, if I didn't sleep well the night before, if I overdid it at the gym the day before and I am sore... lots of different things.
In life, there are a lot of things that hinder us... don't really think I need to list them all (there isn't room anyway)
2. Get rid of the sin that so easily entangles us.
There is a difference between hindrances and sins. When I think of hindrances, I think of distractions. But sin is sin. And we all know what that is because we all have it in our lives.
3. Develop perseverance
It takes discipline. It takes being super committed to finishing. If you aren't committed, you won't finish strong. If you aren't really dedicated to what you are doing, you won't accomplish your goal.

I know there are hindrances(distractions) in my life keeping me from fixing my eyes on the finish. I know there are sins that have wrapped themselves around my life slowing me down and trying to keep me from finishing. I know I lack discipline in certain areas of my life. But I know what God has called me to do. He's called me to run this race strong, to be a witness for Him with my life, to live a holy life, and He's called me to keep at it until the finish. And I also know I want to finish strong. It's going to take some pruning in my life.. some cleaning out of the closets, getting rid of some distractions. But I am determined to finish strong.

A Crazy Love

2011-07-13T22:15:00.000-07:00

Have you ever had one of those days where you just feel down on yourself? You wonder how on earth anyone ever could or would ever choose to love you? I have days like those sometimes. Maybe that isn't normal... but I'm not really normal anyway.
Today was one of those days. Sometimes when I think about my character flaws and my shortcomings, I really wonder how on earth anyone could love me. I wonder why God would choose me to be his daughter. Why he would ever even want me.
So as I was asking Him this today, I was reminded of what His love really is like.
Romans 8:31-39 The Message
"So what do you think? with God on our side, how can we lose? If God didn't hesitate to put everything on the line for us, embracing our condition and exposing himself to the worst by sending his own Son, is there anything else he wouldn't glady and freely do for us? And who would dare tangle with God by messing with one of God's chosen? Who would dare even point a finger? The One who died for us- who was raised to life for us! is in the presence of God at this very moment sticking up for us. Do you think anyone is going to be able to drive a wedge between us and Christ's love for us? There is no way! Not trouble, not hard times, not hatred, not hunger, not homelessness, not bullying threats, not backstabbing, not even the worst sins listed in Scripture. None of thise faces us because Jesus loves us. I am absolutely convinced that nothing- nothing living or dead, angelic or demonic, today or tomorrow, high or low, thinkable or unthinkable, absolutely nothing can get between us and God's love because of the way that Jesus our Master has embraced us."
I really don't understand that kind of love. I don't have children yet. I hope to one day, but I think that hinders me from understanding the love that God has for me, for us. To think that the love that a parent has for their child doesn't even begin to compare to the love that God has for me. I don't understand why He loves me, but his Word says He does. And I have to believe that. I have to believe that He loves me with a crazy love that isn't fazed by any sins I have ever committed or ever will commit. It isn't fazed by my character flaws. It isn't fazed by my lack of trust and faith some days. And He is always going to want me no matter what. It's crazy but I'm so glad He loves me like that.

The Power of Community

2011-07-07T14:08:00.001-07:00

What is Community? What does that word even mean? There is a tv show called Community, but that isn't the community I am talking about. The dictionary says it means "fellowship or organized society". Wikipedia says it means people interacting with common values. That is probably is closer to what I think it means than what the dictionary says.
Over the past 5 years of my life, I have begun to learn what community means. I have learned that through relationships, through small groups at my church, through miscommunications, through arguments, through intense discussions, through differing of opinions, through triumphs shared, through periods of defeat, and through times of absolute joy. I think very few people, especially believers understand what community really means.
Community is not people getting together to sing songs at church or listen to a preacher or sit in a room and listen to somebody teach you about God. While those things are all great, that is not community.
I believe community is about relationships. It really all boils down to that. Our small group just finished up a book called "Groups: the Life Giving Power of Community" by John Ortberg and I really think this guy gets it. I learned so much from that book, but even more from discussing things of importance with people in my group, some of which were strangers to me at the beginning. There were times where we disagreed about things. But then there were times where people cried sharing about their struggles and we all came together with words of understanding and encouragement. That is what community is about. It is about people coming together, determined to really know one another( and I mean REALLY KNOW ONE ANOTHER)..... it is about finding a common ground even when you might not agree on everything, it is about loving each other even though we all are not really easy to love, it is about forgiving past mistakes and moving on.
If churches would really experience community, everyone would want to be a part of it. People long for that intimacy with one another. They long to be known and still be accepted in spite of their flaws. People need to have support. Real support.
In Acts 2 towards the end, it talks about real community. How the believers came together and lived together in harmony and had everything in common. They pooled all their resources and gave to people that were in need. Then it says that people saw that and wanted to be a part of it.
It is amazing to me how a group of strangers can come together and what God can do in the middle of it. People that I didn't know very well at all that I would do anything to protect now....People that I pray for daily and I know they pray for me too. People that I am proud to call my friends.
That is what community is and I am so honored to get to be a part of a community like that.

Slaves No Longer

2011-06-30T13:35:00.001-07:00

I was at the gym this afternoon and I like to listen to worship music when I workout. (Although sometimes it is sooo hard for me not to sing out loud in the middle of the gym!) Today was one of those days... a song came on my ipod that I have listened to bunches of times but it spoke really loudly to me this afternoon. It talks about how Christ has opened blinded eyes to see, that He has set the captives free and it got me to thinking... We as believers really forget that. That we aren't captives anymore. I think we really forget that we aren't slaves to sin any longer. When He came, he came for our freedom. Yet we sit in the middle of our sins and struggles and our chains like we haven't been given our freedom yet. But if we are believers, He has already set us free! We have been granted our freedom and our lives don't look like it.
I will be really transparent in this blog. I have been struggling with bitterness in my life. And I've been begging God to help me, to take it away, to give me a loving heart. And when I heard this song today, I literally heard God say to me.." Lori, you are already free. I bought you with a price. You aren't a slave to this. Let it go."
It was like the heavens had opened in the middle of the gym.
So I came home and looked up some verses about freedom and I wanted to share them.
Psalm 34:22 "God pays for each slave's freedom, no one who runs to him loses out."
Romans 6:14" Sin can't tell you how to live. After all, you're not living under that old tyranny any longer. You're living in the freedom of God."

I love that.. sin can't tell me how to live! I'm living in the freedom of God.

Let this be a reminder to you..whatever you're dealing with.. being prideful, being envious, lust, bitterness, not being content with your life, whatever.......you don't have to stay chained to it. You've already been set free. Just get up and walk away. Sin can't tell you how to live anymore. And if you run to Him, you won't lose out. Those are promises straight from His Word.

Here is a link to the song "God of the Redeemed"

A little perspective

2011-06-20T22:50:00.000-07:00

When I think about relationships, at least relationships in my life, the word "jaded" comes to mind. I don't think you can deal with people, friends, etc. for very long without becoming somewhat jaded. People are human and are flawed and therefore they disappoint you. I can promise you if you are in a relationship with a person, you WILL be disappointed in some capacity.
In the past, I have dealt with my disappointments in people in various ways. I have gotten hurt and continued to let that person hurt me over and over again without standing up for myself. I have gone to the other extreme and completely shut down to new friendships and relationships. And then through some life experience, soul-searching, and wisdom from others, I now find myself in a place of happy-medium.
This past semester, I did a psychiatric rotation for nursing school and I had the priviledge of sitting through some incredible group therapy sessions. In those group therapy sessions, I met and listened to flawed people. People that had abused drugs and their families. People who had been abused by family members and close friends. People with addictions. People with anger issues. What I learned in those sessions is that I am not really that different from "those" people. I have my own insecurities. My past experiences have shaped me just like their experiences have shaped them.
What I gained out of those sessions was some understanding. Some perspective. That we all have our issues. We all disappoint people on some level. We all are flawed.
So this past week when I found myself feeling disappointed by someone, I had to take the time to remember that this person had their reasons for being the way they are. This person is flawed and so am I.
A little perspective can go a long way. Relationships are hard. But if we remember we all are flawed people, it becomes much easier to make allowances for others. It is hard to put yourself out there and know you will be disappointed or hurt by someone, but relationships are worth the risk, worth the hurt, worth the growing pains. We were created to be known, for relationships, to connect.

A Fragrant Life

2011-06-04T21:24:00.000-07:00

I love things that smell good. Perfume, flowers, a clean house, freshly folded laundry, the smell of fall in the air. It's funny how sometimes you smell a particular smell and it brings back a memory just as sure as you were standing in that very place again. Sometimes things smell really bad. I work in a hospital and I smell some really horrible smells. Things that I won't go into detail about. :)
In my life, I have been told that my attitude stinks. I think probably at one time or another we all have been told that. If we haven't been told that, someone has probably thought it about us. I know I have been around people who's attitude stinks. It isn't pleasant. It really is like a bad smell that infects the air around them. It affects the attitudes of the people around them.
As believers, we have a smell. The Bible actually says so. In 2 Corinthians 2:14 "Through us, he brings knowledge of Christ. Everywhere we go, people breathe in the exquisite fragrance."
Do our lives smell exquisite? I hope mine does. Sometimes it stinks but I really hope that sometimes it smells good to the people around me.

The Broken are Beautiful

2011-06-02T09:07:00.000-07:00

I have broken several bones in my life. I broke my wrist in 4th grade walking.. yes.. that's right. walking. I tripped over my feet, fell, and broke my wrist. You are probably wondering why on earth I would admit to that?? I also broke my right foot in a golf cart accident on my 19th birthday. Then I broke my left ankle playing kickball with some youth. Then the following summer, I broke my right foot again falling down the stairs. I am a very clumsy girl. And it's sort of embarrassing.
What I have learned by all these accidents and broken bones, is that it hurts. When you break a bone it is really quite painful. Even after it heals, sometimes that bone aches.
I think our lives are alot like that. We make choices that leave us broken. Sometimes life just leaves us broken, circumstances leave us broken. And it hurts. We are left with a lot of hurt. And when we are sitting in the middle of that hurt, we can't see anything good that could ever come out of that situation. But I think that when God looks at us in our broken state, He sees something beautiful. When we are strong, we don't realize our need for Him. When things in life are going great, we think we can make it on our own. But when we are broken and weak, we are desperate for Him. I can think of many times in my life when I really thought my life was over, that nothing good would ever happen to me again (sounds dramatic right??). Guess what? I was wrong. God had plans for me all along. He still does. He still has plans for me. And in my brokenness, in my weakness,He orchestrates those plans because my self isn't getting in the way anymore.
Psalm 51:17 "The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God you will not despise."
He loves a broken spirit because it has a desperate need for him.
He comes to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives, to release prisoners from the darkness, to give comfort to those who mourn, to make beauty out of the ashes of our lives...(Isaiah 61)
God can turn the brokenness of our lives into something extraordinarily beautiful if we just let him.

A Grace Given Without Restraint

2011-05-13T17:40:00.000-07:00

I am overwhelmed daily by the grace of God in my life. It is hard for me to understand sometimes , well a lot of times, why he would want a relationship with me. The grace of God is something I think few people understand. It is something that you have to truly experience to understand it, and even then I think we can’t really completely comprehend the depth of the grace that He freely gives us. I was talking with a friend today about guilt and shame over past mistakes and I was struck again by how little I understand the grace of God. I think if we really understood it, guilt and shame wouldn’t be present in our lives after true repentance. So, after that conversation, I went digging in the word of God to find some understanding.
I came across Psalm 103, which is one of my very favorite psalms.
8 The LORD is merciful and gracious;
he is slow to get angry and full of unfailing love.
9 He will not constantly accuse us,
nor remain angry forever.
10 He has not punished us for all our sins,
nor does he deal with us as we deserve.
11 For his unfailing love toward those who fear him
is as great as the height of the heavens above the earth.
12 He has removed our rebellious acts
as far away from us as the east is from the west.
13 The LORD is like a father to his children,
tender and compassionate to those who fear him.
14 For he understands how weak we are;
he knows we are only dust.

These verses spoke to my heart in a new, fresh way today. This is what grace is all about. He doesn’t constantly accuse us. He doesn’t remain angry forever when we mess up. He hasn’t punished us for everything wrong we’ve ever done, and he certainly doesn’t give us what we deserve. He removes our sins so far away, you can’t find them anymore. He treats us like a father treats his children, tender and compassionate. And the very best part to me today was… He UNDERSTANDS how weak we are because he knows we are only dust. .. He knows we are only human. He knows we are going to fail him over and over and over and over again. And yet he still loves us. He still chooses to forgive.
That is what grace is. We don’t understand it, because we don’t give grace the way He does. But it is so amazing to know that He gives it to us without restraint.

Shock and Awe

2011-03-31T08:09:00.000-07:00

If you know anything about me, you know I really am one of the most blunt people you will ever meet in your life. I say what I think.. sometimes much to the embarrassment of my husband. If I had a nickel for every time he looked at me in shock and said, "Lori!!!!", I would be a very rich woman. Over my life, I have left a lot of hurt feelings in my wake. I used to rationalize this by saying, Hey- at least I'm honest! But as I have gotten older, more of my dear friends have taken me aside to point out that hurting people's feelings is not just being "honest", it's being mean. I used to think that there wasn't anything I could do about this. I was born this way. I was born without a filter between my brain and my mouth. However,I have learned this is just an excuse. It is an excuse to allow myself to continue in bad habits of saying everything that I think. Don't get me wrong, one of the things I love about myself is that I say what I think. But it's never okay to say EVERYTHING that I think. I don't mind shocking people. Sometimes I think people need to be shocked.I am all for the shock and awe :) But I don't ever want my honesty to hurt someone. Words hurt worse than anything. I would rather be punched in the gut than have someone say something hurtful to me. Our physical wounds heal so much faster than our emotional wounds. I'm sure if you are reading this, you can think back to a time when somebody said something that hurt you. It was probably years ago, but yet you still remember that. Words leave a mark on your soul.
Last night, I found this quote by an unknown author and it set me to thinking about my words.
"A careless word may kindle strife. A cruel word may wreck a life. A timely word may lessen stress. A loving word may heal and bless" - author unknown

I hope my words lessen stress. I hope my words are the kind that heal and bless. I don't want to use the excuse that at least I'm being "honest" anymore. I want to challenge myself to think before I speak. I want to learn to draw the line between honesty and hurtful. It's such a thin line.

Just Keep Swimming.....

2011-03-16T19:06:00.000-07:00

This week has been so stressful. Nothing has gone like I planned or hoped it would. It all began with me getting really sick on Sunday then having to start a new minimester in nursing school. Because it was the very beginning of a new semester I absolutely could not miss the first couple of days or I would be so incredibly behind, so I have had to go to school sick and feeling awful this week. It is only Wednesday and I honestly am already counting down the minutes until the weekend gets here. What is so horrible is that the weekend is bringing its own stress with it. I have homework due on Sunday at midnight, none of the laundry has been done in over a week, the house is a disaster, and we have a preview service on Saturday night for a church plant we are involved in.
I know, I know, this sounds like a complaining session already.. But I share all of this because I know this happens to everyone. We all have weeks like this where nothing goes right, or we have so much going on we just want to hide under the bed. Life can be so busy and so incredibly stressful. Sometimes you just want to take a time out. It would be nice right now if I could take a time out. Unfortunately, life doesn't give us opportunities to take a time out. Time just keeps plugging right along.
So, today in the midst of my overwhelming stress, I came across an amazing version of one of my favorite verses.
Philippians 4:13 says " I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength."
but this version is the one that spoke the most to me today.....
"Whatever I have, Wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am."
I really really really needed that today. I have been reciting it over and over in my mind. I have been meditating on it. I desperately needed to know that I can make it through anything in Christ. He's the One who makes me capable of things I would never be capable of ordinarily. He is the One who makes me able to handle things I would never be able to handle. He is the One who gives me words to say when I could never think of them on my own. He is the One who will give me the strength to make it through this week of struggle. So, tonight... I will rest in knowing that I can make it through anything with His help. I may feel out of control but He won't let me be overwhelmed.
It reminds me of one of my all-time favorite movies "Finding Nemo".. I love Dorie and when she is singing "just keeping swimming. Just keeping swimming." I love her optimism and the way she just keeps plugging along with her oblivious innocence.
So, tonight, with his help.. I'm gonna just keep swimming.... just keep plugging along and I can rest in knowing that I know the One who makes me who I am and He's gonna take care of it all. He's gonna give me the strength to get through it.

Discipline : A Painful Process

2011-02-20T19:41:00.001-08:00

Discipline is a thing I lack. I am getting better at it in some areas of my life and in others I still am far from where I would like to be, where I should be. I have found it to be a very difficult thing to achieve. Especially because becoming a person that is disciplined is a painful process. It takes a lot of effort. It takes sacrificing what you want for what you know is best. Sacrifice is uncomfortable. Discipline is uncomfortable. It takes focus. It takes resolve. It takes having real priorities. If something isn't super important to you, you will not make changes to become disciplined in that area.
In November, I began a "quest" to become a healthier me. Not so much in the eating habits but by working out and becoming more active. I had become lazy and overweight and my self-esteem had really suffered because of that. It took someone pointing out that to me for me to really get to a place where I sincerely was ready to make a change, to cultivate some discipline in that area of my life. It took me admitting I needed a change and then caring enough to actually do something about it.
That is what discipline is all about. Recognizing something that needs to change, caring enough about making the change, then DOING something about it. Just knowing you need to change isn't enough. Just caring about it isn't enough. It takes action too. And it's never easy. If it was easy, we would all have ourselves together.
The first few months of my journey to be more active were not fun. I did not enjoy getting up in the morning and hitting the gym when I could be in the bed or on the couch watching tv. But when I started seeing results, I felt a sense of accomplishment at what I had done and that fueled my desire to continue this new lifestyle even more.
I know that I need to start applying this to other areas of my life as well. I need to recognize areas of my life that are in need of a change, I need to care about making the change, and then I need to actually DO SOMETHING about it. Getting to that point takes time and I know it will be an uncomfortable process, but I also know from experience that it will be worth it in the end. I need to sacrifice some wants for what is best.

God I look to you

2011-02-17T11:21:00.000-08:00

God I look to you. I won't be overwhelmed
Give me vision to see things like You do
God I look to you. You're where my help comes from
Give me wisdom; You know just what to do

I will love You Lord my strength
I will love You Lord my shield
I will love You Lord my rock forever
All my days I will love you God

Hallelujah our God reigns
Hallelujah our God reigns
Hallelujah our God reigns forever
All my days Hallelujah

-God I look to You by Jenn Johnson, Bethel Live (Be Lifted High)

Vigilance

2011-02-10T18:49:00.001-08:00

Vigilance is a big word. It is a word people don't really use alot these days. According to Merriam-Webster online, it's first use was in the 15th century. Its definition is to be alertly watchful especially to avoid danger.
I am an avid reader which is probably why I thought of this word today when reading a bible verse a friend had posted on his facebook.
"Keep watch and pray, so that you will not give into temptation. For the spirit is willing, but the body is weak." Matt. 26:41
Simple verse but sure is good advice! I read that and felt like God must have known I needed to read it today. Really, I need to read it every day. Temptations are all around us. Today I was tempted to throw a fit when something didn't go my way. Yesterday I was tempted to spend money that we don't have to spend. Tomorrow I will probably be tempted again. I don't know about you- but if I'm being really transparent here- I am tempted every single day in some way or other. I'm tempted to be discontent with things in my life. I'm tempted to be selfish. I'm tempted to be mean and moody. I don't want to be discontented. I don't want to be selfish. I don't want to be mean and moody. My spirit is willing. But my body is so so so weak.
But here in this simple verse is the key. Vigilance. That is the key. Being alertly watchful. Being on the lookout for the temptation. If we spot it first, we can pray. And if we pray, we can overcome it.

So, just a challenge to whoever might read this and to myself. Be vigilant. Keep watch and pray so that you don't give into the temptations of today.

The Real Thing

2011-02-04T15:19:00.000-08:00

It is Corey and my 4 year wedding anniversary. Hard to believe it's been 4 years already. It has gone by so fast and yet it's funny how I struggle to remember my life before he was in it. I have learned so much in these four years about myself, about love, about sacrifice, about putting someone else before myself. And yet, I still have so so much to learn. I consider myself incredibly blessed to have married my best friend. Without a shadow of a doubt, I know I married who the Lord hand-picked for me. The other day, I was talking to a girl, about 20 years old, about how I "knew" Corey was the one. She asked me how did I know? I told her it wasn't anything super romantic or earth-shattering. I told her that I knew because I'd rather spend time with him than anyone else and that feeling hadn't gone away after 6 months (which it had in the past with others). I knew because I saw things in him that I wanted to see in myself. He truly makes me better.

Marriage is hard work, but when you're working on it together with your best friend, it doesn't feel quite as hard. I can say that today, 4 years after marrying him, I love him so much more and in such a deeper way. I know that there will never be anyone better suited for me. It makes you feel pretty special to know that somebody loves all of you... the good, the bad, and the ugly. That my friends, is the real thing.

here are some pictures that I think summarize the best of these past 4 years...

Taking Responsibility

2011-01-29T17:03:00.000-08:00

I honestly don't even know where to start tonight. I have so many thoughts bouncing around in this brain of mine that I really don't know where to begin. What I want to write about in this blog isn't an original thought of mine, although I wish I were that inspirational to come up with this on my own. However, these thoughts (or ramblings-if you will) stem from an amazing message I heard tonight at church. As I sat there, I felt convicted and inspired all at the same time. Probably a great combination!! Because when conviction and inspiration are combined for me, they equal the desire for a change.
Tonight, the pastor challenged us to "be the me God wants me to be". He challenged us to look in the mirror, at ourselves honestly, and see ourselves for what we really are. Then he talked about taking responsibility. Here is what he said.."You are in every relationship that you have. Every relationship has a common denominator.... YOU! You have input and influence in every relationship in your life simply because you're in it. As a result, you have a say in the health of every relationship in your life. They are healthy or not because of the role YOU play in them. If you're ever going to have a healthy family, a strong marriage, a solid connection with your kids, you've got to take responsibility for you. It all begins with you."
WOW. That is deep. What it boils down to is - my relationships can only be what my participation allows. I can either make it better or worse. Do other people play a role too? Yes, but it begins with me. I can change ME. I can't change other people. Just because it isn't my fault, doesn't mean it isn't my problem. So if my marriage isn't what I think it ought to be, then I better start working on myself. If my friendships aren't what I think they should be, I better be a better friend. If my relationship with my parents isn't good, then I can start working on being a better daughter. And since I know I'm not perfect, I have PLENTY of room to make changes.
I think as humans we just don't like to be responsible. We want to place the blame on other people. "well, THEY need to do this... THEY need to get better at that. I'm not the only one in the wrong." It began in the Garden of Eden with the very first sin. When Adam and Eve ate the forbidden fruit and God confronted them about it.. we all know what happened. Adam blamed Eve for giving him the fruit. Eve blamed the snake for giving her the fruit. Nobody wants to take responsibility. Because it takes admitting that we are wrong. And that is NOT fun.
But if I want to grow as a person, as a Christian, as a wife, as a daughter, as a friend- I need to take responsibility for me.
Psalm 139:23-24 "Search me, O God, and know my heart. test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends You, and lead me along the path of everlasting life."
I want that to be my prayer. That God would point out things in my life that need to change (and believe me, He's already gotten started!!!). And then, I want to let Him change me; to make me better. So that my marriage can be better, my friendships can be better, my relationships can be the best that they possibly can be. I want to take responsibility for me.

Move On

2011-01-25T11:15:00.000-08:00

Philippians 3:13 ESV "Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do, forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead."
When I read this verse today it got me to thinking about how so many of us dwell on the past. The old ways of doing things, the old relationships we had, the old mistakes we made. We live our lives regretting things we did. Or wishing we had done something that we didn't do. I like this verse because the whole message of it is to MOVE ON. Holding onto things that have happened in the past or things that didn't happen in the past is a waste of time. God wants to be about our future not our past. The old way of doing things may have been great, but this is today. God has a plan for today and it may not be the same as the plan for yesterday. The old mistakes we made may have been terrible. But God has grace for us today and if we've confessed those mistakes and asked for grace, then those mistakes are gone and forgotten by Him. We may wish we had done something that we were too scared to do, but God gives new chances today. It's time for us to move on. Time to take hold of the future that He's holding out to us. There are great things lying ahead of us. It's time to let go of bitterness and unforgiveness that we're holding onto because of things that were done to us. It's time to let go of the guilt and shame for the mistakes we've made. Let's move on and strain forward to what lies ahead.

Thanks, God

2011-01-20T20:23:00.000-08:00

I opened my Bible today and just happened upon some verses that took my breath away and I wanted to share them.
Ephesians 2:1-6 "It wasn't so long ago that you were mired in that old stagnant life of sin. You let the world, which doesn't know the first thing about living, tell you how to live. You filled your lungs with polluted unbelief, and then exhaled disobedience. We all did it, all of us doing what we felt like doing, all of us in the same boat. It's a wonder God didn't lose his temper and do away with the whole lot of us. Instead, immense in mercy and with an incredible love, he embraced us. He took our sin-dead lives and made us alive in Christ. He did this all on his own, with no help from us! Then he picked us up and set us down in highest company with Jesus, our Messiah."
I don't really know what else to say except I'm thankful. Thankful that my God is immense in mercy and has an incredible love. I'm thankful for his embrace. I'm thankful that He has taken my mess of a life that I have offered to Him and has made something alive out of it.
What else can I say? Thanks, God.

Out with the Old, In with the New

2011-01-13T17:03:00.000-08:00

Change. I hate it. I am a lover of routine (as long as I like the routine). Some people thrive on change, but I am not one of those people. I love the comfortable, the familiar. It's like a worn out pair of pajamas (which happens to be one of my favorite things in the entire universe). Routine and the familiar represents safety to me and I love that. Who doesn't want safety and comfort? But the older I get, and unfortunately I am getting older, I realize more and more that change is inevitable. It comes when you least expect it and least desire it. Just when you settle into a routine, something happens and you have to get used to a new routine. Take the time change for instance. Happens twice a year. My body gets used to one time and then behold, daylight savings time begins. I start a semester with one clinic schedule and then 8 weeks later, I have to get used to a whole new clinic schedule.
I am not the only one who hates change. My dog-child hates it too. Fifer has a toy that he has ripped to shreds. He loves that toy. He sleeps with it, he chews on it, he licks it, he plays fetch with it. However, that toy is really nothing more than a ripped up piece of material now. So, tonight I decided to get him a brand new toy. It is exactly what his chewed up toy was before he destroyed it. It is the same color and everything. But when I threw away his old toy and gave him his new one, he stood at the trash can and cried for his old one. Here I was giving him something better, but he wanted his old piece of crap, ripped up toy.
We are so much like that. We want to hold onto things that aren't important. We want to stay where we are most comfortable instead of embracing the new things that God might have for us. We want to hang onto our habits that aren't pleasing to Him. There have been so many times when I've felt a call on my life to do something in particular that has caused me to have to step out of my comfort zone, out of the familiar and I haven't wanted to do it. Sometimes I didn't answer that call. Sometimes I just stayed put where I was comfortable. But I missed out on something better because of it. I missed out on God's best because I wanted to hang onto my "chewed up toy".
It reminds me of the man in Mark 10 who asked Jesus what he must do to have eternal life. Jesus told him to sell everything he had and give it to the poor and then follow Him. In vs. 22 it says "The man's face clouded over. This was the last thing he expected to hear, and he walked off with a heavy heart. He was holding on tight to a lot of things, and not about to let go." Do you realize what that man gave up for his possessions? Eternal life. Talk about not liking change. This man must have really hated change.
How much do we miss out on because we're still "holding on tight to a lot of things, and not about to let go"?

Committment: In it for the long haul

2011-01-12T11:29:00.001-08:00

I am coming to find that our generation doesn't know the meaning of committment. Nobody sticks with anything anymore. When someone gets tired of something, it doesn't matter that they have made a committment, they just quit. When things get tough or uncomfortable, they just quit. Or they just do a half-hearted job at it. It's like when something takes extra effort or work, everybody bails. I've seen it time and time again. Marriages, churches, jobs, parenting. No one wants to work for anything anymore. And what is most sad about that is the things that are most rewarding, take the most work. When people quit, they are throwing away the opportunity to see an amazing outcome.
I remember when I was learning to play the piano, I played all the time. But I hated practicing scales. It was awful. I wanted to just play a song. But you have to learn the basics before you can play a song. It takes work. It takes practice, but the outcome is so worth it.
I learned about committment from some key people in my life. My parents were great teachers about committment. My mother would never let me quit anything. She always made me stick it out. She told me that my word should mean something. I also learned about committment from people that I served along side of in ministry. Ministry is hard. People don't appreciate the hard work you put in and the hours that you spend preparing. Most of the time it goes unnoticed. But when you are committed to a cause, you stick with it and seeing lives touched makes it worth it. Seeing people that continue to stick with things when it's tough makes me respect them even more.

Hebrews 10:36 (the Message) "But you need to stick it out, staying with God's plan so you'll be there for the promised completion."

I hope my word means something to people. I hope that committment is evident in my life. I want to be in it for the long haul. Even when it's hard and tough and uncomfortable. I want to be there for the promised completion.

A Gift of Encouragement

2011-01-04T18:54:00.000-08:00

I Thessalonians 5:11
"Therefore encourage one another and build up one another, just as you also are doing."

There are so many people hurting in the world today. People on our streets. People at our work. People in our schools. People in our families. Strangers. Friends. Families falling apart. Marriages that are being broken. Families battling with cancer, death, money problems. Everywhere I turn I see people struggling with things in their lives. So what can we do to help? We can't mend broken homes. We can't heal cancer or raise the dead. We can't pay off people's mortgages ( at least most of us can't). But we can speak words of encouragement into people's lives. We can send random texts or facebook comments or cards in the mail. We can make quick phone calls. It doesn't take a lot of time or effort to be an encouragement.
People want to feel important, valued, thought of. There is nothing worse than feeling ignored, or taken for granted, or invisible.
A few weeks ago I was really stressed about some things going on in my life and when asked how I was doing by a friend, I told the truth. That I was stressed. Instead of answering with a general "fine", I told him that I was stressed to the max. A couple of days later, I got a text from several friends just saying they were praying for me. I also got a phone call from a friend who prayed with me over the phone. When I got off the phone, I broke down and cried. That phone call meant more to me than that friend will ever know. Sometimes we need someone to take the time to let us know they are thinking about us, that they love us, that they are there for us, that they are praying for us.
After that phone call, I began to make it a point to text, make phone calls, or send emails randomly to friends. Even if they hadn't said anything at all about struggling with anything in their life. Sometimes people just need some encouragement. If we could all take the time to encourage 1 person every day, what kind of difference could we make in the lives around us?

Fresh Beginnings.. Here's to 2011

2011-01-02T19:43:00.000-08:00

I wanted to write an incredibly fascinating, deep blog about my hopes and dreams for this new year. However, I am not really a deep blogger. I just have simple thoughts and musings. So, I will just share a few with whoever might come across this particular blog. If you are looking for something deep and profound, you might want to read something else :)
2010 was a good year. Nothing incredibly exceptional happened except the beginning of my journey in nursing school which has been quite terrifying and exhilarating at the same time. It passed like the blink of an eye and I'm sure that 2011 will pass just as quickly. I have continued in my trend of NOT making New Years Resolutions but I do have some hopes and goals I would like to accomplish in this year.
I want to continue in my quest for a healthier lifestyle.. if that includes some weight-loss, that would be ever so fine with me. If not, at least I'm exercising and trying to eat a little bit better. I would like to try to manage my time a little bit better this year, particularly with my nursing studies. But my biggest goal is to graduate from nursing school in December. That will quite possibly be the biggest accomplishment of my grown-up life and in graduating, I would actually be finishing something that I started.
But more than anything, I really want to be able to look back over the year of 2011 and feel proud of what I've done and who I have become over the year. I want to have few regrets. I want to have my heart feel full when I think about the time I've spent with family and friends.
So, here's to fresh beginnings, Here's to 2011

Divinity Arrived

2010-12-21T19:59:00.000-08:00

"As moments go, ( the moment of incarnation) appeared no different than any other. If you could somehow pick it up off the timeline and examine it, it would look exactly like the ones that have passed while you read these words...But in reality, that particular moment was like none other. For through that segment of time a spectacular thing occurred. God became a man. While the creatures of earth walked unaware, Divinity arrived. Heaven opened herself and placed her most precious one in a human womb." Max Lucado, God Came Near.

Isn't it amazing what we don't notice? There is this link that is floating around on the web that is a video. It challenges you to count how many times a basketball is passed from person to person during a game. Then at the end of the video it asks if you noticed the moonwalking bear. I watched that video the first time and of course missed the moonwalking bear. It is amazing what we miss when we are focused on other things. We get so incredibly busy with our lives that we miss really important things. Like the quote from one of my favorite books that I have at the beginning of this blog says, "while the creatures of earth walked unaware, Divinity arrived." That's a pretty huge thing to miss isn't it? God came to earth and the only people that knew it were some shepherds and wise men and that is because angels shouted it out and they noticed a big ol star in the sky!
When I read this quote, I got to thinking about how busy our lives are. Work, Family, school, church, social activities... the list goes on and on. And at Christmas time it just gets worse! We have to add decorating, buying presents for people, family get-togethers, holiday baking, etc. to the endless list of things to do. So, it shouldn't surprise me that we tend to miss the real meaning of Christmas too, huh? Even over 2000 years later, we are still missing that God came to earth! That's what we celebrate isn't it? Isn't that what Christmas is really about? Celebrating that Jesus came as our true gift that we don't deserve!
So... maybe we could just take the time to slow down for a second and not miss the complete awesomeness that He came to earth knowing He would be our sacrifice for sin. That He humbled himself enough to be God in human form. That he came as a baby. And that he came for us. Let's not miss that.

A Clean Slate

2010-12-08T19:30:00.000-08:00

Lamentations 3:22-24 ESV "The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. The Lord is my portion, says my soul, therefore I will hope in him."

I hate mornings. I despise them. I don't like the sound of the alarm buzzing in my ear. As a matter of fact, I tend to hit snooze at least 3 times. One of my favorite things is sleeping in. There are not alot of good things that I can think of about mornings. That's why I think I like this verse so much! Because one of the best things about morning is that it brings new beginnings. What happened today doesn't matter anymore. If I was in a really bad mood today, I can be in a good mood tomorrow. If I didn't have any energy today, tomorrow I might have tons of energy. Mornings bring a clean slate. Everything from today can be wiped clean. It doesn't have to dictate what happens tomorrow. I don't know about you, but I see that as incredibly freeing! No matter what happened today or what I did or what I said, tomorrow can be different. I can choose to do things differently tomorrow. This verse is saying that because the Lord loves us so incredibly much, his mercies are new every single morning. As long as I continue to wake up in the morning, if I ask Him to, He will wipe my slate clean and give me a fresh start. Tomorrow can be better than today. I can make better choices tomorrow! My past doesn't have to dictate my future!
I have made bad choices in my lifetime. I've made some good ones too, however, if I could go back and change some things that I did or said, I would do it in a heartbeat! But isn't that what is so exciting about tomorrow, about mornings, about the future??? That we get another chance to do things right. We get the chance to have a good outlook, to be compassionate towards people, to respond in love and not anger, to be obedient to the Lord. So maybe mornings aren't really so bad after all. They bring one of the things I value the most... A clean slate.

Rest for the Weary

2010-12-05T08:34:00.000-08:00

Do you ever feel like you need a cheering section in life? I do. Sometimes I get weary. I get really tired. Emotionally. Spiritually. Physically. And today is one of those days. I'm tired in every sense of the word. I feel weary. Life is hard. It is a constant battle. Work. School. Relationships. Life takes some serious effort. Some days more than others. And today I really wish I had someone cheering me on. Telling me that I can make it. That I can do this. That I can get through it. It's just a season. So I have done some searching to find the encouragement I need.
Isaiah 40:28-31 "Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the Everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth, He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not faint."
In my searching for encouragement today, I found it. The Lord doesn't get tired. He doesn't get weary. And my favorite part is: no one can fathom his understanding! He understands that I'm exhausted and He understands why I'm so tired. And He has promised me that if I put my hope in Him, He's gonna give me strength. He doesn't promise that things will be easy or get easier. But He promises me to get me through it and to hold me up while I walk through this season in my life.
Matthew 11:28 "Come to me , all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."
Some background on me. I am a touch-me-not. I hate cuddling. I don't like to be touched for the most part. It's weird. I know this. However, there are some times in my life when I have enjoyed being held or hugged. I remember times when I was a little girl when my dad would hold me in his lap or mom rocking me and I remember thinking it felt good. It felt really safe. I think that is why I like this verse so much. I imagine God holding out his arms, making room for me in his lap. Telling me, "Come sit with me. I'll hold you and you can feel safe. You can get some rest here in my arms. "
So today, I'm feeling his arms around me and I'm hearing his voice tell me that He's gonna get me through this. He is gonna give me the strength I need.

A Way of Escape

2010-12-02T08:49:00.000-08:00

In my last blog, I talked about God's grace. How I have sensed and experienced His grace in my life in the midst of my struggles and failures. This week, I decided to focus on what do I do when I'm in the middle of my struggles? How do I overcome these battles that I face and how do I not fall flat on my face every single time? I believe God gives a way out. A way of escape. Why do I believe that? Because His Word says so. in I Corinthians 10:13.."No temptation has overtaken you, except what is common to man, and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide a way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it." If you read my blog often, you know I love the Message version of the Bible. I like it because it puts things so simply. It's version of this verse is great. "No test or temptation that comes your way is beyond the course of what others have had to face. All you need to remember is that God will never let you down; he will never let you be pushed past your limit, he'll always be there to help you come through it." That's pretty encouraging. He's not gonna let me be pushed past the limit of where I can say no. I listened to a great podcast this morning and the speaker said something of this sort... What are we? animals? Animals can't control what they do. They are controlled by their instincts. But God has given us brains. He has given us souls. He has given us consciences. ..... so should we assume we can't control what we do? I think not! I think God has created us as complex beings. Beings that are absolutely able to stand up against temptation. We are absolutely able to say no to what is wrong and to say yes to what is right. He has given us a way of escape and it is my prayer daily that I recognize those ways of escape and that I don't ignore them but run towards the escape as fast as I can. So that I can live a Godly life. A life that is pleasing to Him. I'm so thankful that He provides a way out. He doesn't just leave us in the pit of sin to wallow there. He gives us His Holy Spirit to convict and guide and if we are keeping our lives submitted to His guidance we will be able to recognize the escape routes He provides so mercifully.

Grace that is greater..............

2010-11-17T19:09:00.000-08:00

Let me just start this blog by saying that I am human. I have a sin nature. I was born that way. We all were. I know that sometimes we think once we've been saved, born-again, become a believer, a follower of Christ, that our sin nature goes away. Guess what? It doesn't. The older I get, the more convinced I become that this is a battle that will rage until either I die or until the Lord comes back. I will always have struggles. I will always be tempted to gossip, to lie, to be prideful, to hate... the list goes on and on. That is why I am so thankful for God's grace in my life.
I was reading tonight in Ephesians 1 and was once again struck at the overwhelming nature of God's grace. Ephesians 1:7-8 says "In Him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our sins, according to the riches of his grace, that he lavished on us with all wisdom and understanding." I really like the Message version. It says "Because of the sacrifice of the Messiah, his blood poured out on the cross, we're a free people- free of penalties and punishments chalked up by all our misdeeds. And not just barely free- Abundantly free!"
Can I just say that lately, God has broken me. He has pointed out struggles in my life and I've been on my face before Him crying out for mercy and grace and HELP! Sometimes I wonder why He wastes his time on me...why do I consistently have the same struggles in my life? Why can't I just be delivered from them? But I read something else tonight that spoke volumes to me.
2 Corinthians 12:9 "But he said to me, my grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me."
So here I am.. boasting in my weaknesses in this blog. Because I want Christ's power to rest on me. That is what grace is all about. If it was something we could earn, it wouldn't be grace. This kind of grace is greater than anything we could every imagine and He is lavishing it on us even as we ask for it.

A God of Restoration

2010-09-14T18:49:00.001-07:00

In my short 28 years of life, I have seen marriages broken, relationships devasted beyond belief, friendships falling apart, lives wrecked by sinful decisions. But in that short 28 years, I have also seen the amazing work of God in the broken, devastated, falling apart, and wrecked. Maybe not all of them, but many! I have seen God take things that could never be fixed and fix them. I have seen him take things that have been destroyed and restored them until they were better than before. I believe I serve a God of restoration. I believe He is able to do more than we could ever imagine in spite of our rebellion and disobedience in life.
I was reading in Jeremiah 33 tonight. Here is a portion of it that talks about God's restoration...
"But take another look. I'm going to give this city a thorough renevation, working a true healing inside and out. I'm going to show them life whole, life brimming with blessings. I'll restore everything that was lost to Judah and Jerusalem. I'll build everything back as good as new. I'll scrub them clean from the dirt they've done against me. I'll forgive everything they've done wrong, forgive all their rebellions. And Jerusalem will be a center of joy and praise and glory for all the countries on the earth. They'll get reports of all the good I'm doing for her.They'll be in awe of the blessings I am pouring on her. Yes, God's Message: "you're going to look at this place, these empty and desolate towns of Judah and streets of Jerusalem, and say " A wasteland, unlivable. Not even a dog could live here." But the time is coming when you're going to hear laughter and celebration, marriage festivities, people exclaiming, "Thank God of the Angel-armies! He is so good! His love never quits!," as they bring thank offerings into God's Temple. I'll restore everything that was lost in this land. I'll make everything as good as new. I, God, say so."

I think that speaks for itself. I love the MESSAGE's version of this.
It's talking about God making an unlivable wasteland ( not even fit for a dog!) into something as good as new. Someplace that people all over the earth are talking about because it's so incredibly wonderful. A place of laughter and celebration. That is what my God is capable of.
There is nothing broken that God can't mend. There is nothing destroyed that God can't restore. He is truly a God of restoration. I've tasted and seen.

The Choice is Yours...

2010-09-11T16:48:00.000-07:00

I spent 7 hours today on a psychiatric ward doing clinic and while it was exhausting both mentally and emotionally, I was priviledged enough to get to sit in on a group therapy session. The patients' issues ranged from alcoholism to bipolar to depression to suicide attempts and they each brought their own issues into the room with them. But as I sat at the back of the room and listened to what the conversation was about, I gained some wisdom that I think everyone could benefit from.
The counselor was talking about anger and how anger is really a secondary emotion. What she meant by that, is when someone "makes" us angry.. they really aren't "making" us angry. We choose to respond that way and it usually stems from a deeper emotion such as embarrassment or frustration or hurt. Something that person has said or done has brought about some sort of emotion and that emotion has led to anger. She also said that anger just IS. It isn't bad or good. It just is. But how we respond with that anger is the problem. Some people cut themselves. Some people drink or do drugs. Some people lash out at other people. Most of our choices have something to do with a deeper emotion. And the fact is we may have every right to feel that emotion. That emotion may be neither good or bad, but we DO choose in how we respond. Nobody can make us feel something. Nobody can make us feel sad or happy unless WE LET THEM. We give our power away to people. That is our choice to do that. But we have the freedom to feel or do as we want. We need to start taking responsibilities for our actions and for our emotions. We have control over them even though we say we can't control our feelings or actions sometimes. That is a lie that we have all bought into. We make good choices and bad choices in our lifetimes but the main point is the choice is ours..
I believe that if people would start taking ownership of their feelings and of their choices, we would see less chaos on people's lives.
I know this blog was super deep and that is not really characteristic of me, but I wanted to share this

Fall

2010-09-01T10:19:00.000-07:00

Fall is one of my favorite seasons. I adore it. I love the smells, the colors, the weather. And I can feel it in the air today. The shadows seem to be changing. I can smell it in the air today too. It just smells different. I have felt it coming on for about a week now. Last week I saw the first writing spiders of the season. One in particular builds a web in the same place every year.. near our building outside. They always creep me out a little because they are so big, but it excites me too because I know fall is just around the corner.
I sat out on our front steps today and just enjoyed the feeling in the air. I looked at the beautiful clear blue sky and breathed in the clean smell in the air. When I look around me and see the sights like I saw today, I can see God's fingerprints all over His creation. It is truly an amazing creation. I'm so thankful for my sight. That I can see and bask in the beauty of all that is around me. My heart just feels so full it could burst today. So incredibly grateful for the good gifts my Father has given me.
I'm looking forward to the crisp weather that is coming soon, to get to pull out my sweaters and boots. To not have to worry that I'm losing my tan! It will be here before we know it and I cannot wait!

Friendships take time

2010-05-21T07:19:00.001-07:00

Oh my goodness, it has been ages since I have blogged! That is what nursing school will do to you! I have barely any time left in my busy schedule except to check my facebook and email, although there have been many times when I've thought about blogging but just haven't gotten around to it. Life is busy busy. But good. And this brings me to the point of this blog.
Over my 27 years of life, I have had so many friends. And one thing I have learned is that friendships take time and cultivation. Even the best of friendships need a little TLC. There have been friends that I have not seen in many years and only talked to a couple of times a year, yet when we get together, it feels like we just pick up where we left off. But if you don't talk or communicate to the person at all, that friendship can deteriorate.
I have found it to be especially difficult for my friendships this past semester after starting nursing school. I barely have time left for my husband and family at this point, and sometimes my friends get left on the back burner. I warned all my good friends what was going to happen before I started nursing, but I have had to really make the time to keep in touch with them. If that means a short text or email, or even something as simple as a comment on their facebook wall.
While I was pondering on this, a quote that I had heard a long time ago came to mind. "If you want a friend, Be a friend."
It is so true. It isn't fun being friends with someone who only wants to be around you or hang out with you when it's convenient for them. It isn't fun being friends with someone who puts no effort into the friendship. I'm sure we all have had friends like that. Friendships and relationships in general take effort on both sides.
I know that I've been a friend like that in the past to people, but I surely don't want to continue in that path.
I really want to make an effort in my friendships. An effort to maintain them and an effort to make sure my friends know how important they are to me, no matter the distance or how busy my life gets. I'm so thankful for my friends. They are a gift from God!

Pr 18:24 ( the Message) "Friends come and friends go, but a true friend sticks by you like family."
I want to be a true friend. The kind that sticks with my friend through thick and thin, through good times and bad, through busy schedules and restful times. A friend like that is a precious, precious find. Hold on to with all you have. We need good friends in our lives!

I find myself in need of a Savior

2009-12-17T15:11:00.000-08:00

I've been thinking alot about the true meaning of Christmas lately. This year, we have less money to spend on presents and I've focused so much more on celebrating Christ's coming as a baby. I have the poor economy to thank for this. It has been such a blessing to focus on Christ's love for us in the fact that He came to earth as a baby to be a sacrifice for our sins.

I was praying today thanking God for His grace in my life. Thanking him that He forgives again and again .. for the same sins that I struggle with daily. So as I was praying, I thought to myself how much I need my Savior. For many reasons, but especially because of my daily struggle with sin. Because of that, I find myself in need of a Savior. Daily!

I'm so thankful that He came. That God in flesh came down to give himself as a sacrifice for me. Knowing that I would disappoint him time and time again didn't thwart his love for me or his coming. He still came BECAUSE I would disappoint him time and time again.

and so.. I find myself in need of a Savior.

Why

2009-10-01T06:08:00.001-07:00

Have you ever questioned why God lets things happen to people? Why He allows such awful pain in his children's lives? I wonder that from time to time. And this morning is no exception. This morning I watched a slideshow of pictures of Kate McRae and her family. These pictures were taken this past weekend by a photographer that flew from Texas to Arizona just to photograph Kate and her family. Her story has touched so many lives. This photographer is a cancer survivor so she understood everything that Kate and her family is going through. As I watched the slideshow and sobbed like a baby, I cried out to God to heal Kate. I have cried out that prayer to him for months now on Kate's behalf and I still choose to believe that He is able to heal her and that He will. But it still doesn't make it any easier to swallow that she is having to suffer like that at only five years old. She is starting her third round of chemo and it is supposed to be a really harsh round, but at least now we now that the chemo is working. The tumor is shrinking and God is still in control!
So I continue to trust Him. Not because of the circumstances, but because of His Character! I don't have to know the answers to my questions. I just need to know Who is able to answer them. Even if I may never know those answers until I see his face in heaven one day.

To check out that slideshow go to : www.ohsoposhphotography.com and then click on blog... scroll down and click on the white arrow on the first picture of kate.

A lesson from the nursing home

2009-07-30T06:57:00.000-07:00

I have had the interesting experience of getting to do my clinicals for my Certified Nursing Assistant class at Adams Farm Center for Living and Rehabilitation. It has been both a sad and wonderful experience. One of the most wonderful things that I have seen happened on our first night and it stuck with me. We were taking our tour of the facility and a lot of the residents there were sitting in the halls in their wheelchairs lined up and observing us. We passed this one section of residents and I heard a lady singing, "Hallelujah, thine the glory. Hallelujah, Amen. Hallelujah, thine the glory, Revive Us Again." I smiled immediately because I recognized that hymn as one that we used to sing at the church I grew up in. My dad was the song leader so I was very familiar with those hymns.
Anyway, when I heard it,I smiled and thought to myself,."Even though that poor little lady has lost her mind, she had that hymn so deeply engrained in her memory that it came out when nothing else could." After I left that night, I thought about it a lot. It is interesting how some people who never cursed in their life, curse like sailors when they lose their mind. And then others, like this little lady, sing hymns. It is my prayer that I would love my Savior and have the things of Him so deeply engrained in my mind and soul that I would sing hymns or songs of worship to my Savior even when my mind is gone. What a testimony.

My experience in the unemployment line..

2009-07-08T09:15:00.001-07:00

This morning, I had the pleasure of going to the employment security commission office. The office opened at 8:30 but I was told it would open at 8:15, and being my punctual self, I got there at 7:45.... that's right.. I ended up being 45 minutes early. Nevertheless, when I got there, there were already several people in line.. lined up outside the door. It was crazy. By the time, they opened the door, I bet there was 40 people in line. It was crazy. And sad. I heard stories all around me of people losing their jobs after 30 years with the companies. There were people of all ages, all colors, all backgrounds, yet we all had a common bond... UNEMPLOYMENT. The dreaded word. One guy that I stood in line beside was a minister to people in prisons and he said the most important thing we have is our hope in Christ. That is so true.
I have been depressed in the past about being unemployed, depressed about our money hardships.. but in the past week, my outlook on things has changed dramatically. My dear friends' daughter has brain cancer. How could anything I'm going through even come CLOSE to that? I still have my health. I still have my family. No one in my family is fighting for their life. I would say my life is pretty great.
So- I say all of that to say this: We should use this time to remember what is really important. Our faith in Christ, our relationships with our families and the people around us.
Don't get bogged down by things that really don't matter.

And keep praying for Kate and the McRaes. They desperately need you prayers. Kate has a long road ahead of her until God chooses to heal her, which I believe that He will.

Update on Kate McRae

2009-07-03T05:51:00.000-07:00

Her very delicate brain surgery is set for today 9:00 a.m. MT in Arizona.
Her parents posted this video yesterday and asked that we spread this any way we know how, so I don't know how many people read my blog, but even if one person sees this video and prays for her then my blog will have served it's purpose.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ese3zYZ-NA4
This video broke my heart to watch some of my dearest friends world shaking on the verge of shattering. Please pray for this family and their daughter Kate.
I remember when Holly was pregnant with Kate. She had early contractions in like her 5th month of pregnancy in the middle of the night. I went to stay with Olivia their older daughter that night while Holly and Aaron went to the hospital to get the contractions stopped. They got the contractions stopped and Holly had a healthy pregnancy after that. I know that even then, the Lord had big plans for little Kate. He still does. Plans for a hope and a future. We don't know what those plans are but I am trusting the God who created little Kate to do big things for her and go on to use her in a mighty way one day.
Please pray hard today. God is mighty. He always comes through.

Pray for Kate

2009-06-30T12:41:00.000-07:00

My heart is so broken for my friends in Arizona, Aaron and Holly McRae. They are church planters out in Pheonix and their little girl, Kate, has just been diagnosed with a massive brain tumor in her basal ganglia. She is undergoing a MRI as I type this to determine exactly how large it is and if it has spread to her spine. Please pray for little Kate, who is only 5 1/2 years old. She is so scared as are her dear parents. Pray for her sister Olivia and her brother Will. They are going through a terrible time right now. Pray for healing for Kate and for strength for Aaron and Holly.

If you want to follow this beautiful little girl's story, the website is www.caringbridge.org/visit/mcraekate

The family is updating everyone by this website while they go through this horrible experience.

I know we serve a BIG GOD! He is able to shrink this tumor and make it easily operable. He is able to make it go away completely. But more than anything, He is able to hold the McRae's in His mighty hands and shelter them during this storm.

I Pet 4:19 Trust in the God who made you!

Please join me in praying for this family.

A Mighty Fortress

2009-06-24T06:33:00.000-07:00

"So if you are suffering according to God's will, keep on doing what is right, and trust yourself to the God who made you, for he will never fail you." I Pet. 4:19

I have read this chapter many times and never noticed this verse. And it is such a powerful verse! It sticks out now because I know so many believers suffering right now. People that are unemployed and unable to pay their bills, women are have lost babies, marriages that are falling apart, family members that are dying. My heart is breaking for these people. But God gave those that are suffering a special word through this verse. He says if you're suffering and it is something He allowed to happen as part of his will, then keep living for Him. Keep doing what is right. Keep obeying him and looking to him. Trust Him because he's the one that made you. Why should you trust him? Because he will NEVER fail you. That's a pretty amazing promise. That promise makes suffering a little more bearable.

He is our mighty fortress.

"A mighty fortress is our God. A sacred refuge is Your name. Your kingdom is unshakeable. With you forever we will reign. "-A Mighty Fortress, Christy Nockels.

Faithful..

2009-06-22T10:07:00.000-07:00

God is so faithful. I'm so thankful for his consistency and stability. Our life is not consistent these days.. and not really stable.. but I have a Father who is both of those things! Yesterday, the pastor preached on the Fear of Unemployment. We are experiencing that and have been for a couple of months. But it is so amazing how He continues to provide for us. He really is the Great Provider! There are days when I worry about how I'm going to be able to finish school without a job, and how will I finish school while I work a job that isn't Builder's Fireplace? But, I was reminded yesterday that He holds my future and He wouldn't have led me back to school if He didn't intend on finishing the work that He started there.
God is GOOD!
If there is anyone that reads this, I hope they will pray for our family, Pray for our finances. Pray that God will continue to provide for us and meet our needs. But pray for all the families out there that are struggling. There are so many that have been affected by unemployment. Pray for God to provide for them as well.

On a different note, Yesterday I discovered Fifer had become infested with fleas. YYUCK.. so I spent all night ridding him of those nasty things.. today I only found one on him so I think they are starting to disappear.. Hopefully they will not come back. I think he may have become infested with them on a recent playdate.. One that will never happen again! YUCK YUCK YUCK
I still feel like I have fleas crawling all over me.. EWWWWW

A New Stage of Life

2009-06-05T06:39:00.000-07:00

Next month I will turn 27. And I'm starting to feel old. I know that I'm not old, but sometimes I feel like it. It is interesting how much has changed in my life in the past several months. I went back to school. I got a sweet puppy. I got temporarily laid off from work. And as of yesterday, I am permanently laid off from work now. Business just is too slow for them to have me back in July. This was not surprising for me but it still made me really sad. Not just for the obvious reason that we are officially poor now, but because I worked there for almost five years. It was like the end of an era. So much of my life is changing. I'm a student now and sometimes I feel like my future is up in the air. But even when everything around me continues to change ( and I HATE CHANGE).. I can find some peace in knowing that my Lord never changes. He is always the same. His love for me is always the same. His provisions continue. His mercies are new every morning. I can be sure of my future because I know He is in control of my future. There is a Matt Redman song that says, "Praise you, the God of our yesterdays, Praise You, the God who is here today, Praise You, our God as tomorrow comes. So whatever lies ahead Whatever roads our grateful hearts will come to tread You'll be there, Lord We will fix our eyes on You And know that there is grace enough to see us through You'll be there, Lord You'll be there in the struggle You'll be there in the fight You'll be there all the time .." God is so good. I'll praise Him through all the struggles and be thankful for who He is!

Getting back into shape.

2009-05-30T13:09:00.001-07:00

I had no idea just how out of shape I had gotten until I joined a gym this week. Actually, Corey and I both joined a gym. They opened up a new one about 2 minutes from our house and it's open 24 hours a day so I have no excuse for not making time to go.. even when I go back to work and I'm going to school!
But- back to how out of shape I am.. sheesh! I had not worked out in an entire year! Not even a little tiny work out. I broke my ankle a year ago and had to have surgery on it so I obviously couldn't work out for a couple of months due to that... however, I didn't realize that it doesn't take long to lose that buff body you have when you do absolutely nothing. All I've done for the past year is sit around on my butt and eat.. and I have clothes that don't fit anymore to prove it. So, since they opened up the gym so close, Corey and I both decided it was time to do something about our rounded middles and big butts.
The first day working out was embarrassing... no just plain downright SHAMEFUL! But, slowly and surely, I'm getting back into shape.. It's a slow process but I know in the end it will be worth it.. My goal is to lose 10 pounds. That is reasonable enough, I think. I just wonder how long it will take to do it.. Wish me luck! I'm going to need it.

How He Loves Us

2009-05-12T08:56:00.000-07:00

Sunday, Corey and I visited a church for the second time and they did a song called "How He Loves Us" and I wept when I heard it. If you know me well at all, you know that I cry pretty easily but I haven't cried at church in so long, I couldn't even tell you how long it had been. As I sat there listening to the words, I felt the Lord draw me close to himself like I can't ever remember Him doing.. And I have felt His presence so closely since. He used this song to awaken something in me that had been asleep for several years. I had forgotten how much He loves me!
Here are the lyrics.. and if you want to hear the song, you should google Kim Walker's version of the song. It's pretty incredible.
He is jealous for me Love's like a hurricane, I am a tree Bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy When all of a sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory and I realize just how beautiful You are and how great your affections are for me.
Oh, how He loves us so Oh, how He loves us How He loves us so. Yeah, He loves us Woah, how He loves us Woah, how He loves us Woah, how He loves.
So we are His portion and He is our prize, Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes If grace is an ocean we're all sinking So heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss and my heart turns violently inside of my chest I don't have time to maintain these regrets when I think about the way That he loves us,
Woah, how He loves us Woah, how He loves us Woah, how He loves He loves us, Woah, how He loves us Woah, how He loves us Woah, how He loves

All I can say is that my heart is absolutely overflowing with His LOVE FOR ME!

To go back...

2009-05-06T04:12:00.000-07:00

I have not blogged in awhile. It is final exam week and I have been really stressing out and studying as much as possible. Tonight is my last final exam and I will be finished for the semester. Thank you Lord for getting me through this semester! There were definately times when I questioned whether I would make it or not.
So, Last night, I was reading a blog of an old college aquaintance of mine and she had blogged about regret. In her blog, she said she hates it when people say they don't regret anything in their life because they wouldn't be where they are today if they hadn't made those choices. I agree with her. If I could have some do-overs, I would do them in a second! I have made some really bad choices in my life. I have been through some things, that quite frankly, I wouldn't go through again if I could change it. I believe I went through some of those things because of my own stubbornness and my own sin. I was rash in making some decisions, I didn't pray through some things before I went barrelling ahead. At the end of her blog, she challenged herself to start thinking before she made a choice, " where will this decision land me in 10-15 years"...
I've decided to take her advice. I would like to start taking a little bit more time when I make a decision. I would absolutely like to start praying a little longer before making a decision.
Don't get me wrong, there are also things that I wouldn't change in my life for all the money and fame in the world. I am so glad I married my husband after only 11 months of being together. Some people may call that rash, but he is my perfect match and I truly believe I got God's best in that department! I don't regret going back to school after all that time of being a working woman :).. I know that that is a decision that will land me somewhere great in 10-15 years.
But since I can't go back and change those things that I wish I could, I am thankful for the lessons learned and the challenges of recent blogs to think and pray before I start rushing into things.
Thank you Lord for life experiences and that you work ALL things for good ( good AND bad decisions alike). You are truly good all the time.

Latest News

2009-04-21T08:22:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I received news that I will be laid off for the next 2 months from work. It's sad that it will obviously be less money for us, but we are trusting our Lord to provide for us, and we are confident that He will continue to take care of us financially and physically. He has been so good to us. Praise Him!
To look at it positively, I am very excited that I have been given this time to concentrate on my school for the summer and to focus on Corey and our family. It is a great gift that has been given to me... an opportunity to be a housewife for two months! I'll keep you updated on how I like it.

HAPPY EASTER

2009-04-12T04:17:00.000-07:00

I used to get excited about Easter because I LOVED hunting eggs. My friend Jamie Stone and I seriously hunted eggs til we were about 14! Call it immature if you want, but all I know is it was FUN!
This morning, I woke up excited to celebrate that my Lord is RISEN! I've been looking forward to this day more than usual this year. I honestly don't know why except I sure have sensed His grace so fully this year and today is the reason I can experience that grace. My heart is swelling with thankfulness for his sacrifice and at his power because he CONQUERED DEATH.. for me.. for YOU!
Thank you my sweet Savior, for your sacrifice of your pure life on the cross and because you didn't just stay in that tomb, you rose again on the third day just like you promised. Thank you for keeping your promises to us. Thank you for paying it all for me so I don't have to. You reign victorious! Praise you, Lord.
May we celebrate our Risen Lord today.

My beautiful Dog-Child

2009-04-04T14:22:00.000-07:00

So these are the latest pictures of Fifer Bernard Dalton. I seriously think he is the most beautiful toy poodle that God ever created. Not to mention the smartest! These are of him after his grooming visit. The ladies there tied a cute little Easter egg kerchief around his neck.. How adorable is that?? Even though it does make him look a little like a girl. That's ok.. He can be metrosexual ;) By the way, he knows how to sit now!

Life Updates

2009-03-27T14:27:00.001-07:00

So I was just thinking about posting a blog with some updates on our life and I realized how BORING our life is.. but as boring as it is.. I really love it.
So.. here are updat
Our dog-child Fifer just turned 4 months old on the 20th and he is growing like a weed. It is time for another grooming visit tomorrow morning so maybe I'll take some pictures and post them on here tomorrow if I have time. He is almost completely potty trained except when he can't hold it all night. Now he goes to the door and sits down when he needs to go out and if he's on the couch he'll go to the edge of the couch and sit and stare at me if he needs to go. We discovered he loves shredded cheese and that is the treat that finally trained him! He also knows how to "sit" now. Thanks to watching many episodes of the Dog Whisperer, I am becoming an expert trainer.. heheh
Our last Sunday doing the youth will be the last Sunday of April and thus will begin our new season of life.
Corey's job is going well despite the economy and the big layoff they had several weeks ago, so he is hanging in there and we are thankful for the Lord providing for us. We have still been able to pay all of our bills and I am more and more assured that He is a GREAT GOD!
School is going well for me. I'm pulling a B in the second semester of Anatomy and Physiology, so that hopefully will be enough for me to get into nursing when I apply in the fall. I'm just praying that His will be done.
So, that isn't too exciting but simplicity is always a good thing in life and I do love my life.

walking in faith

2009-03-19T06:47:00.000-07:00

I was reading Oswald Chambers this morning before work and he had an amazing quote in today's reading.. it said living in faith is not mounting up on wings, but of walking and not fainting.
These days I am praying and trying my hardest to walk and not faint. Things can look so dreary with the economy getting worse and worse, people losing their jobs and not being able to pay their bills. Corey and I are just now starting to experience what other people have been experiencing for a while now. Our cash stash is getting smaller and smaller and we're really having to tighten our belts where spending is concerned. I'm working less and less and I've been starting to get depressed about it. Then this morning, I felt like the Lord really spoke to me and reminded me in his love that living a life with Him was never promised to be easy and wouldn't necessarily always be full of success by the world's standards, but He has promised to sustain me and keep me walking.. and keep me from fainting. What an amazing promise that he will keep me close to Him and hold me up when I'm tired and feel discouraged. Thank you Father for your mercy in my life.

It must break God's heart...

2009-03-17T06:26:00.000-07:00

It must break God's heart to see the state of the world today. It must break his heart to see how people smear his name by calling themselves Christians and then living their lives as if He is not important. My heart is so burdened for the Church today, I literally want to cry. I have lived only a mere 26 years and yet I have seen so much hurt evidenced in the church. So many people hurt, so many sins swept under the rug and excused with no consequences. Am I any better than those people?? Absolutely NOT! The only difference between me and a nonbeliever is that my sins have been covered by the holy blood of Jesus Christ. But I pray with all of my heart that I will glorify His Name with all of my actions. I pray that He would give me the strength to stand up for Him daily. I don't want to be the reason that someone falls away from Him. I don't want to give someone an excuse or reason to belittle His bride.
How long O Lord will you allow this horrible sinful state to go on in your Church? God Break our hearts for the sin in our lives, for the sin in our land. We cry out we need your help, come back to our land. We confess we've lived in sin. PLEASE SHOW YOUR POWER ONCE AGAIN

Seasons

2009-03-11T08:33:00.000-07:00

I am loving the weather we've been having here lately. I actually laid out in the sun on Saturday and Sunday and got burned! Craziness.. but it's going to turn cold again this weekend. YUCK! I am so ready for spring. This winter has been a really cold one, obviously.. with the huge snow we had last week. I think I have discovered that I am a spring lover. I don't like summer all that much because it is just too hot and fall is ok but not my favorite and after the winter we had, I'm pretty sure I hate winter! So,I have really been holding out for spring.
Something that I have learned from life recently is that our lives have seasons too. Our spiritual life has seasons and our life in general has seasons. This past Sunday, we announced to the youth and their parents that our "season" of helping with the youth was ending. We resigned and will be finished at the end of April with our committment. It was a really tough decision for us but it was the right one. With Corey's work schedule being about 60 hours a week and my working full time and going to school at night, our family time has really suffered. So, after praying about it for a while, we felt a peace in knowing the Lord had released us from this season of service in our life. While we were sad at the thought of not spending that time with the kids, we were excited at the thought of having more time for each other again. It's something we've really missed and we're just thankful that the Lord used this season of service to teach us so much.
I'm thankful that the Lord gives us different seasons in our life. It keeps things exciting and interesting.. and we're looking forward to our season of rest now.
Thank you Lord for knowing when it's time for rest for us.

Thankful for Grace

2009-03-09T08:35:00.000-07:00

I honestly don't even iknow where to start this blog except to thank my Lord Jesus Christ for his sacrifice for our salvation so that we can truly experience the miracle of HIS GRACE. I saw on the news this weekend where a friend on mine from college who is a youth pastor in the area was arrested on charges of having sex witha 14 year old. He is married with a toddler and a baby. I was absolutely nauseated when I heard the news. I was disappointed and just completely heartbroken for his wife and kids. The affair with the teenager had been going on for several months, so it wasn't just a one-time "mess-up". When I found this all out, I honestly didn't know how I was supposed to be feeling about it.. how a Christian is supposed to react to news like this. My first instinct was to reach out to his wife, which I did, just letting know I was praying for her and their family. All I can really say about it now is that our God is merciful and full of grace and that He can restore anyone back to a perfect relationship with Him because He is able! Over the years, I have known several pastors to make some pretty big mistakes like this and while some recover and their families survive the heartbreak, others do not. But it ultimately comes down to accepting Christ's grace in your life and getting started on the long road to recovery.
I obviously will not mention any names here but if you're reading this, I'm asking you to please pray for this family. It is going to take a long time to recover from this and there is going to be some jail time he will have to serve because he was charged with several felony counts of sexual assault and indecent exposure. Please pray for God to restore the young man and to surround his wife with a special peace and a heart of forgiveness.

My Soapbox brought on by The Bachelor!

2009-03-04T04:07:00.001-08:00

Ok, so I'm going to jump on the bandwagon and write a blog about the reality show, "the Bachelor"... I don't know how many of you watch it, but if you did.. shoot, even if you don't, you've probably heard what happened Monday night. The guy, Jason, picked one girl at the end of the show and proposed, only to ( 6 weeks later), decide to "follow his heart" and dump her on national television and proceed to ask the other girl that he had dumped 6 weeks ago for another chance. For any of you that know much about me, you know about an experience I went through about 8 years ago. I got engaged my sophomore year of college and we had set a wedding date, and I was honestly in love with this guy. Then, a couple of months later when I went to visit him out of state, we spent a whole week together, only to have him dump me the day before I was supposed to come back to North Carolina. I was heartbroken and really really angry.
So, watching this show on Monday night brought back some pretty horrible memories on my part. Am I glad now that I didn't marry this guy? Absolutely! Thank you, Jesus, for saving me from a huge mistake.. But the problem that I have with this guy in my life and with Jason from the Bachelor is that it sure seems like nobody takes engagements very seriously anymore. This frustrates me because if you are a girl, you know what a big deal getting engaged is.. and it only happens for the first time once.. so, when a guy goes back on his engagement and breaks it off.. this girl can't get that first time back ever again. He has stolen that from her.
I was so incredibly blessed to find a man like my Corey. While we were dating, he was so careful with my heart. He didn't rush things and he was always very careful to pray and know what God wanted before he ever made any kind of decision. He didn't even tell me he loved me until he knew for sure that God wanted us to get married. That is the kind of man that girls are looking for.. not the kind that makes rash decisions and in the process breaks girls hearts..
so... Men.. take some advice from a girl who got hurt by a very rash decision.. be careful with girls' hearts because one day you will give an account for what you did with it.

ok = so I'm off my soap box and I feel so much better now! heheheh
me and my guilty pleasure of reality tv

snow

2009-03-02T06:34:00.001-08:00

we got an absolutely beautiful snow last night and this is what we awoke to this morning.. north carolina doesn't get snows like this often, and quite honestly I haven't enjoyed it like normal because the dog refuses to pee outside. so.. I have towels down all over our hardwoods and he has proceeded to pee on most of them.. sheesh.. I hope this snow melts soon. But it sure is pretty despite the inconvenience of it all.

Being Winsome

2009-02-27T04:17:00.000-08:00

I read during my devotions the quote : To win someone , you must be winsome". The dictionary says that winsome means engaging, that someone who is winsome wins friends easily. I don't really know if I am "winsome".. I kind of don't care if I make someone mad... well at least if I don't have any respect for them as a person, but I do care what people think about me. It is hard for me to be winsome because I am one of the moodiest people I know. I remember when God was doing a serious work in my life a couple of years ago. He was teaching me that I couldn't use the fact that" I inherited this from so-and-so, so it's just who I am" as an excuse for not being loving and compassionate. Being loving and compassionate is not my nature.. Why? because my nature is sinful. I'm thankful that although I still have not learned this lesson, God is patient enough to continue teaching me until I do learn it.
May my life be one of love and compassion today.

A week without Corey :(

2009-02-25T12:50:00.000-08:00

It does not feel like Wednesday. I have thought it was Thursday all day long. I think my routine has been so messed up with Corey being gone all week. I absolutely hate being home without him. I thought that the puppy would keep me company and he has, but it's just not the same. I miss him so bad today I can hardly stand it.

This is the last night without him though. And I have school tonight so that will pass the time. And THEN:...................LOST... my favorite tv show in the whole wide world. But even it won't be the same without my Corey :(

You know.. I used to be so independent.. and now look what happened.. I fell in love

it's my anniversary

2009-02-24T08:03:00.000-08:00

Today is our 2 year wedding anniversary.. February 24.. one of my favorite days..
I love remembering what our wedding day was like. It was one of the best days of my life.
So- in honor of my wonderful husband Corey Allen Dalton...
here is my list of things I love about him..
1. His beautiful eyelashes
2. His laugh.
3. His sense of humor
4. The way he listens to the Lord
5. how hardworking he is...
6. that he is so sensitive
7. that he encourages me about school
8. that he loves music even though he can't sing.. ;)
9. that he calls me bunches just to talk
10. that he cares about what I think
11. he is a TRUE Carolina fan!
12. He loves the Lord!!!!!!!!!

I can't believe I ever found someone that I could love the way I love him. I love him much much more today than I did 2 years ago when I married him, and I didn't know that was possible. I'm excited because God continues to whisper in my ear about our marriage that.."the best is YET to come"..
Corey- if you're reading this.. I miss you terribly and I can't wait for you to come home. Happy Anniversary my sweet best friend.

Somebody's got a case of the mondays....

2009-02-23T11:48:00.000-08:00

It's Monday.. and I hate Mondays. And today I'm especially sad because my husband is leaving to go to Maryland for a business trip. Not to mention the fact that tomorrow is our anniversary. Some people might think that I am pathetic but I can't even go all day without talking to Corey. He is my very best friend and I tell him everything. I am so blessed to have such a wonderful husband. We have so much fun together. I'm just going to have to try to make it until Thursday night when he gets home....
Poor me.. All alone with the puppy. at least I have the puppy now.

Pictures and Updates

2009-02-22T18:31:00.001-08:00

Fifer after being groomed by a professional

Me asleep with the puppy

Fifer after being "groomed" by me

Our New Family Portrait!

allergies

2009-02-22T13:24:00.001-08:00

ok, so I'm allergic to my puppy and it seems like it's getting worse the older he gets.. I'm already taking Benedryl and it helps but it makes me so sleepy I can't stand it. I'm too attached to get rid of him but I'm miserable ... I sneeze nonstop and blow my nose constantly.. I've tried finding some ideas on how to deal with pet allergies online but most of it I'm already doing.. If you have any ideas besides getting rid of him then I'm open to trying just about anything!!!! Please help!

Anniversary

2009-02-21T13:41:00.000-08:00

Tonight Corey and I are celebrating our 2 year wedding anniversary by going to P.F. Changs and maybe to a movie. I thought I would post my favorite pictures of us from our second year of marriage..

It's been an incredible year.. full of ups and downs, all-the-while bringing us closer together and closer to our Father.

Why oh Why??

2009-02-21T04:27:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I do things that make me shudder... why? you ask? Because I realize that I just did something that my mother would have done..Last night was one of those moments.. I did something really stupid and my poor puppy is having to pay for it.. I decided to be thrifty and groom Fifer myself. We have hair clippers with guards on them.. and I thought.. why pay money to have someone else do it when I can just do it myself? It took me about 30 minutes to do it and finally I just gave up because he wouldn't let me anywhere near his head or neck and so....my poor puppy now looks like he has the mange, not to mention about 10 pounds lighter. He looks scrawny and uneven and Corey says his head looks bigger than his body now too. After I did it, I thought, Oh no, Corey is going to kill me. So, I called him and warned him on his way home. He ended up just laughing at me and feeling sorry for our puppy. I'll post a picture of him later and hopefully it won't embarrass him! :)

TGIF

2009-02-20T04:14:00.000-08:00

It's Friday and I'm so glad it's finally here. Corey and I have big plans this weekend. We are celebrating our 2 year anniversary tomorrow. Tomorrow is not actually the 2 year anniversary, but he is leaving to go to Maryland for a business trip on Monday and will be gone most of next week. I hate that he'll be gone, not to mention the fact that I HATE being home alone. I find it very creepy. I have a really great gift for him that didn't cost that much money and I'm excited about giving it to him.. I can't put what it is on here since he reads my blogs though! :) And we have reservations at one of my favorite restaurants at 6:00 tomorrow night!! We're going to P.F. Changs and I already know what I'm going to order. I get more excited about food than just about anything. I think I might have a problem... one of these days when my metabolism stops working I am really going to be in trouble..
It's going to be a GREAT weekend!!!!

Lessons from Fifer the Puppy..

2009-02-19T04:43:00.000-08:00

It's Thursday and I am laid off again today. This will be the last day I am laid off this month, so I'm actually excited about it. I have so much to do and here it is almost 8:00 and I'm still in my lounge clothes. I did get up at 7 though which is early for a day off!!! Fifer has been a great source of motivation to get me out of bed early in the mornings. I feel terrible about leaving him in his crate for any longer than that and I am really looking forward to the day he is housetrained so he doesn't have to sleep in there unless he wants to! But I know it's for his own good that he's in there. It is a teaching exercise. You know.. this may sound so stupid but since I've had him, I feel like I'm being taught how God must feel trying to teach us things. I celebrate when he does what I want him to... and I am so angry when he disobeys me! But I still love this little puppy.. do I love him anywhere NEAR the amount that God loves me? Absolutely not.. but I feel like the Lord is using my sweet puppy to teach me more about Himself. A couple of days after I got Fifer, I was home sick from work and I decided when I was taking Fifer out to pee and poop that I would walk down to the mailbox. Of course, Fifer did not want to stay where he was... he wanted to follow me down to the mailbox.. I wasn't watching him the way I should have been and he took off running behind me and fell into our ditch at the edge of the road. The ditch is where the water drains off of our property and it has some pretty big rocks in it and it is a pretty big ditch.. especially for such a small puppy to fall into. He let out a yelp that sounded like a small child screaming and he continued to "scream" for help.. he was stuck and scared and dirty and wet.. and for as much as I knew, very hurt.
of course, my heart stopped in my chest and I took off running to rescue him. I picked him up wondering if he had broken something or if he was really hurt and clutched him as close to my chest as possible just wanting him to feel safe. He trembled and shook for a good hour after that whole experience. Luckily, he wasn't hurt.. just scared, but I'm sure that was a really traumatic experience for my little puppy. I was pretty shaken up myself. By the time I got him in the house, I had tears streaming down my cheeks and called Corey immediately to tell him what a terrible pet owner I was for letting this happen.
But in this experience, what hit me the most is the fact that , that is exactly how God comes running to us when we scream to him for help. Believe me.. I've been screaming for help a lot lately and even though I can't see him or physically feel Him, I know that every time, he comes running and scoops me up and holds me to his chest. It may take me awhile to realize that I'm safe.. but I always do. I know that He holds me in the palm of His hand and His heart is grieved when His daughter is in pain. I'm so thankful that He holds me when I need Him.

Thankful yet Sorrowful

2009-02-18T11:30:00.001-08:00

So- Corey still has a job after multiple layoffs at his company today. I am so thankful that the Lord is providing for us today like He always does. Yet, I am full of sympathy and my heart is so heavy for those that lost their jobs. I try to stay away from the news these days because everything is so doom and gloom, but occasionally I will read something on the internet reporting how many people are unemployed. Just about everyone I know has been affected by the economy in some sort of way and I know how stressful it is when people don't have the money to pay their bills. It is a reminder for me to be faithful in giving to those who are struggling, to listen to those who just need someone to lend an ear, and to be a friend to those that are feeling so alone in their time of need. God has blessed us more than we deserve and I want to be a good steward with what He has given us.
The Lord is so good, He is faithful, and we can TRUST HIM!!
I was listening to the latest "Passion" CD "God of this City" today and there is a Matt Redman song on there called "God of our Yesterdays" and it talks about how God is Sovereign and we can trust Him. In the middle of the song, Matt Redman quotes a scripture and says "Those who know Your name, put their trust in You."
Well, I know His name.. Jehovah Jireh, my Provider! and He is FAITHFUL

Trusting God in the trials

2009-02-18T07:08:00.000-08:00

A lot has happened with us financially as of late.. My company has made everyone take one week of lay off each month, so that has hurt us financially, but we've cut back and God is providing..
Then today, Corey sent me an email letting me know they are having lay offs today at his work. So we don't know if by the end of the day if he will be laid off or if he will still have his job. It is so hard in times like this to rejoice and be thankful, but it's a commandment.. God has commanded us to be thankful and rejoice at ALL times..
so because I'm having a hard time today, I'm going to create a thankful list.. I haven't done one of these in a while but today is a perfect day to do it..
God, I am soooo thankful for:
my wonderful husband, my sweet parents, still having a job, being able to go to school to better myself and our future, great friends that will pray for us, lessons learned in hard times, my SALVATION!!!, grace when I don't deserve it, the way You provide for us when sometimes I don't know where the money is coming from, a beautiful house, and a sweet puppy.

Thank you Lord that you provide!

Fifer...

2009-02-17T11:10:00.001-08:00

Here are a couple of pictures of our sweet puppy Fifer

The Gift of Time

2009-02-17T11:00:00.000-08:00

So... this is my first blog I have ever done, and quite honestly, I don't know who would want to read it... but I figured it was a good way for me to document my life. I forget things way too fast and I want to be able to remember the important things and be able to share them with whoever might care.
I have been given the gift of time. In the midst of my busy, busy life .. I asked God to give me more time in my day to get things done. I've been working full-time, going to school at night, doing homework, trying to take good care of my husband, be a good wife, do laundry and have meals for us to eat, meanwhile helping my husband with the youth at our church on Sundays and sometimes on days when we have activities planned. We also just got a sweet puppy, Fifer, who I'm housetraining. Well, God answered my prayer. I got laid-off from work.. (sort-of).. I now am laid off every three weeks from work.. Will that put a strain on our finances? Absolutely. We are going to have to cut back in our spending in a major way. But.. instead of worrying, I'm thanking the Lord for answering my prayer. He didn't answer it the way I would have liked, but He answered it nonetheless! Isn't God good like that??I now have one week every month to spend extra time catching up on housework, cooking, doing homework, and studying!
Thinking about this answer to prayer reminded me of the verse in Isaiah.. "His thoughts are not my thoughts.. His ways aren't my ways"
I'm thankful that He answers my prayers.. even when it doesn't come the way I would have liked.

I'm learning how to trust Him with everything and that is a really important lesson.